What can you say about a show like this week’s? It wasn’t outrageously bad, but you can’t say it was good either. We’re actually at a bit of a loss for words – it’s hard to get excited over a night that was thoroughly and completely average.

The best of the night was, once again, Melinda. Is anyone really surprised? Technically, she’s got everyone else beat, and you can even make a decent argument she’s one of the best ones in American Idol history. She has both an incredible amount of raw talent and the knowledge of how best to make use of it. Of course, it helps that she’s not straying much from her comfort zone. How will she do when she’s brought out of it? We don’t know, but it won’t matter. The really good singers in every season can afford to have one or two bad nights. Melinda will be no exception. Her chances of making it to the finale? We’d be honestly shocked if she doesn’t. Any other season she’d run the risk of being locked to her genre, like Chris Daughtry was – but this year she’s so above and beyond the rest of the field that won’t happen.

If Melinda is the star, then Lakisha is the understudy. Melinda does an upbeat Donna Summers song, Lakisha does the same thing. It was good, perhaps bordering on great. However, she doesn’t have the complete package, and she hasn’t improved that much since we first saw her. To make matters worse, she’s even more genre-locked that Melinda. She should be safe… for now. As it stands, however, she will probably not make the final four. She’s in the same boat Stephanie was before. What can she do that Melinda can’t do as well, or better?

For the rest of the girls, it came down to choices. Gina chose a good song and sang it well. Just as importantly, she showed off the one thing Idol rewards: versatility. Before this week, we didn’t know if Gina could do anything but be a good rocker. Now we do, and it’s clear she can. She still needs to make good song choices – she doesn’t have the vocals to force through a bad one and make it sound good. To her credit, though, she’s been doing well in the song choice department of late. She actually has a good chance of ending up in the final four if she keeps this up.

Haley and Jordin both made very bad song choices. My knock on Haley has always been she tends to pick big, ambitious songs. True Colors isn’t really one, but she tried to turn it into one anyway. Why does she keep doing this? It hasn’t turned out well for her before. There’s a word for doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result: insanity.

Jordin… well, where do we begin? Gwen Stefani was rightly surprised she chose that song. It’s not a song that shows off what someone can really do. “Highly stylized” is really doublespeak for needing a ton of magic in the studio to work right. That’s not what you want in a live show like Idol. We’re not usually big fashion critics, but we have to say this: her outfit didn’t work either. It looked like a naughty schoolgirl costume gone horribly wrong. Given that she made all the wrong choices, it’s a miracle it wasn’t a complete disaster. She used her abundant vocal talent to force her way through the whole performance – while it worked this week, she can’t really afford another slip-up.

On to the guys, the biggest surprise was Phil. It was easily his best performance all season, although that’s not saying all that much. He’s always had that big voice, now he’s showing some signs of learning control as well. One has to wonder if he can sustain his good showing, though, or whether he just lucked into a song and sound that fit him like a glove. If there’s one point we’ll never stop harping on, it’s song choice. Now we’ve seen Phil can really sing, but can he pick a good song again?

Blake… well, there’s no ifs or buts about him. It’s a very unique style that hasn’t been heard on Idol before, and it tends to divide people. You either like him or you don’t. It doesn’t work for us, but we can see the appeal. He’s the best of the guys, but he has the same problem as the second-tier girls (Gina and Haley): song choice is important for him. Toss in a fair amount of theme-bending to his toolbox and you have the ingredients for being the last guy standing. He has his style which he’s good at, and he’ll stick with it, through hell or high water. Where have we seen this before? Chris Richardson, meanwhile, is just plain uninspiring. His rendition of Don’t Speak reminded us of Jordin’s performance. It was another overly stylized song that relies on studio magic, and doesn’t translate well to a live show. Unfortunately, Chris doesn’t have Jordin’s vocal talents. It was just bad all-around. He’s skating by on his looks and performance skills.

That leaves us with the two laggards of the night. Chris Sligh, we’ll talk about a little later since he’s headed off to where booted Idol contestants go. Sanjaya is turning into a parody – the faux-hawk (or whatever the heck it was) was just the tip of the iceberg. If this is supposed to be some sort of joke, we’re not laughing. ESPN columnist Bill Simmons coined the Tyson Zone, where someone’s behavior is so outrageous that any rumor, no matter how shocking or bizarre, is believable. Well, here at the Idol Guy we’re officially proclaiming the Sanjaya Zone. There, someone’s singing and overall performance is so bad, any description of how bad it is, no matter how overblown or exaggerated, is perfectly believable.

Being bad by itself is not enough for induction. The Sanjaya Zone is the Hall of Fame of Idol ineptitude; one has to show consistent and long-lasting incompetence. Of course, Sanjaya has the (dubious) honor of being the first inductee. Any other nominations you, the reading public, have in mind?

Big hair does not equal big votes: what happened to Chris Sligh? We had him ranked as one of the top guys coming into the top 12. How did he fall so hard and so fast?

Chris Sligh was a classic case of not growing into the top 12 stage. Save for this week, he was okay – not good, not great, just reasonable – and that was never going to work. He also decided to try and move around the stage more – which is a good trick if you can still keep singing well. Unfortunately, he didn’t. Chris sometimes failed to connect with the audience at times – which is really surprising, since he seemed to have a lively personality when he wasn’t singing. It was almost like his singing and non-singing personalities weren’t talking to one another.

He also wasn’t able to get the kind of fan base that could protect him through rough patches. It’s unfair, but looks had a lot to do with that. He couldn’t do what someone like the other Chris or Haley can – get votes solely on the basis on physical appearances. And so he heads off to the Idol sunset.

What did she do and when did she do it?: Did Gwen Stefani actually do anything meaningful this week? All she seemed to do was stand there. Granted, there may not have been much time for anything else, but Gwen ain’t no Lulu. What was she doing “mentoring”, anyway? Oh, right, they want a big current name and she wanted to promote her tour. Of course. Where exactly did the contestants figure in this equation? Nowhere, which explains why the night was not good. Heck, she couldn’t even give us the benefit of a truly good performance on Wednesday night. What was that Ryan said? All performance? Translation: she can’t sing that well, and she’s a bad coach to boot. Next!

Own universe? Try own dimension: Simon Cowell, on Sanjaya: “I think you are in your own universe, and if people like you, good luck.”

Little birdie time: Like last week, the birdie dropped this information into our lap. Here’s how the top 10 votes turned out:

1. Melinda Dolittle
2. Blake Lewis
3. Lakisha Jones
4. Sanjaya Malakar
5. Chris Richardson
6. Gina Glocksen
7. Jordin Sparks
8. Phil Stacey
9. Haley Scarnato
10. Chris Sligh

No manipulation this time, and why should there be? Keeping Haley around as eye candy wouldn’t be such a bad thing to the minds of the powers that be. Certainly, they’d like her to outlast someone like Phil or maybe even Chris. They’d also like to put Jordin in the final four, too, but they reckon she doesn’t quite need it yet – unless she makes another bad song choice. She’s the biggest disappointment we have in this list; she wasn’t good this week, but based on her overall track record she should be much higher – around fourth or fifth. Gina should be higher as well.

It’s pretty dismaying to us how high Sanjaya is. He’s a lock for top six, and no matter where he finishes the statement of “worst contestant to make the top 9, or 8, or whatever) will be sadly true. Given his strength and consistency in the standings so far we can’t rule out a spot in the final four, either. What will it take for him to end up in the bottom half?

Next week’s theme should make for an interesting week. With Tony Bennett as our mentor, we’ll be seeing a lot of standards and songs that Simon would ordinarily call old-fashioned. Depending on how tightly or loosely it’s interpreted, it could make for an interesting night. It has the feel of Diana Ross nightredux all over it. One thing for sure: if people are waiting for Melinda and Lakisha to change, it won’t happen for at least one more week – not with another softball theme, as far as they’re concerned.

This week was the kind of week that can drive Idol fans crazy. Performance night was possibly the best of the season to date; yet you have to balance that with the loud howl of protests at the departure of Stephanie. The question on everyone’s mind: what in the world is going on here?

Let’s start with the good. The performances were simply a cut above the rest of the season. Lots of things came together to make it happen: the theme was not very restrictive, so everyone could find something that kept them in their comfort zones. Add to that some terrific mentoring from Peter Noone and Lulu – more on that later – and we had all we needed for a good performance night.

The most interesting thing was that for perhaps for the first time, Melinda and Lakisha stumbled a bit. They were still very good last night, but their song choices were a bit off. Diamonds are Forever seemed like an excuse to wear a million dollars worth of jewelry. Was Lakisha a little too proud to listen to Lulu? We’ll never know. It was technically good, but there’s more to good singing than that. It just didn’t seem to connect with viewers at home. The same was true of Melinda, although not nearly to the same degree.

Of course, their real problem is that where there used to be two front runners, there are now three. If Jordin was good last week, she was outstanding this week. Her vocals were just as good as Melinda’s and Lakisha’s. More importantly, she has one thing that the other two could use some more of: versatility. If there is one trait that the Idol format rewards, that is it. Chris Daughtry had to show some last season, and he was as genre-limited as anyone else to get that far. It’s something that Lakisha has shown virtually none of, with Melinda showing a little more, but not anywhere near Jordin’s.

Another thing interesting about the performances this week is while they were good, they also showed up a lot of weaknesses in the field. On the guys side, Chris Richardson and Blake are both better performers than singers. Chris’s voice is not that good – it’s only better than Phil’s and Sanjaya’s – while Blake does have good control, but he loses out badly in the power department. Blake has an edge here because of his previous experience – he knows the limits of his voice, and how to make the best of it. It’s experience that Chris doesn’t have, and it will cost him sooner rather than later.

Phil’s situation is somewhat similar. Again, he has fairly good stage presence, but Tobacco Road seemed to have quite a few control problems. He can’t keep shouting forever. Chris Sligh… well, it was technically a good vocal, but it left us cold. It was very similar to how we felt about Lakisha, and that’s the kind of reaction we’ve been getting from him all season. Talent-wise, he should be doing better, but he’s been unable to get a good, solid connection with both song and audience. Sanjaya was… Sanjaya. For the record, that’s not a compliment. It wasn’t a complete and utter disaster… but it was still bad.

Let’s turn our focus to the rest of the girls. Haley and Gina don’t have consistently good voices, but they can shine with proper song choices. Haley chose perfectly – she has a young, energetic image, and her song reflected that to perfection. Gina’s a rocker chick, and Paint It Black was right in her comfort zone. They were reasonable, entertaining performances, but at points they both seemed to lose control (Gina more than Haley). They both need to keep making smart song choices if they want to last. Let’s be realistic, though – they’re not going to make the final four, and even the final six would be hard, particularly for Haley.

Yes, and Paula’s not the most sober person in the world either: Sanjaya: “I know I’m not the best singer in the competition.”

Tricks of the trade: we’ve commented somewhat negatively about the quality of the guys left, but I will give them credit: collectively, they’re pretty good at using the little tricks that excite the crowd – something that, in turn, makes the performance look better to viewers at home. Just this week, we had Phil and Sanjaya doing some work with the microphone stand. Chris Sligh, of course, did that and mixed it with starting out in the audience. Don’t forget that we had people climbing onto the track behind the judges, too. We give the proverbial hat tip to Bo Bice, Chris Daughtry, and Taylor Hicks, who were the ones who, in a way, introduced and popularized all of those moves. It makes for a better show, both for the live audience and us viewers at home.

A case of bad timing: we have to feel sorry for Stephanie. Our prediction from two weeks ago was almost spot-on. We said then:

[quote]Any other season she’d be a standout, but with two other big voices in the mix Stephanie gets overshadowed. There’s not much she can do, to be honest. She has to find a way to distinguish herself from Lakisha and Melinda, but is that really possible?[/quote]

We now know the answer: no. She was never able to clearly establish her own distinct fan base, and Jordin’s knockout performance poached on what little she had. Vote splitting reared its ugly head, and the whole situation is very similar to what happened to Jennifer Hudson in Season Three.

Another factor was she didn’t improve much, if at all, with the change to the big top 12 stage. With so many others stepping up (Haley, Gina, and the guys in general) and a performance that was just okay, she was very vulnerable. Yes, people are outraged, and rightly so, but we can’t pretend that this was some sort of shock. It wasn’t.

Good help is hard to find: we talked last week about how the big names brought to “help” the Idols aren’t always that helpful. This week, courtesy of Phil Noone and Lulu, we had shining examples of how the mentors can be very helpful. Like Barry Manilow (coincidentally, the top 11 coach last year), they both squeezed out the best from the contestants. Part of it was they gave very specific advice to the contestants – something that really wasn’t there last week. Sure, neither of them is as “big” a name as Diana Ross, or whoever else they’ll bring down the road, but it’ll be hard to do better than they did this week. It is really remarkable how some good coaching can make such a big difference. They both deserve big, big kudos for what they did.

Judicial insanity, Idol style: Taylor Hicks, on Randy and Paula: “Oh, yeah, you listen to what they had to say. Some nights you understood it. Some nights you didn’t.”

A little birdie told me: People not into the Idol rumor scene may want to skip this section. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

Someone told us about this crazy rumor about last week’s results. According to this, the “bottom 3″ last week… wasn’t. While Brandon did get the least number of votes, the other members of the bottom three were not Phil and Sanjaya. The full order of the top 12, according to this, was:

1. Melinda Doolittle
2. Blake Lewis
3. Jordin Sparks
4. Lakisha Jones
5. Chris Richardson
6. Sanjaya Malakar
7. Gina Glocksen
8. Chris Sligh
9. Phil Stacey
10. Haley Scarnato
11. Stephanie Edwards
12. Brandon Rogers

Also, the same source has the top 11 results as well. There’s tinkering there too:

1. Melinda Doolittle
2. Blake Lewis
3. Sanjaya Malakar
4. Jordin Sparks
5. Lakisha Jones
6. Chris Sligh
7. Chris Richardson
8. Gina Glocksen
9. Phil Stacey
10. Haley Scarnato
11. Stephanie Edwards

We have two questions about these purported lists. First of all, are they real? Two things do make the list somewhat believable. First, the vote rankings are, within reason, about where we think they ought to be. Ask a dozen Forters what they think the results should be, and the lists you’d end up with would not be too different. After all, people have been commenting that it’s insane that Chris Richardson was bottom two – and if you believe this list, he wasn’t! The only one that’s really strikingly out of place in both lists is Sanjaya, but the why behind that could be a whole other Idol Guy.

Secondly, the supposed source of this list has, we’re told, a very good record spoiling the season so far, including the top 24 and a lot of the song choices. We have no idea about the personal background of the person putting this out, but he’s been pretty accurate before. Given his track record, this list cannot be simply dismissed offhand as a figment of someone’s overly creative imagination. The previous spoilers have been too spot-on.

Assuming it’s real, the question would be why? The scenario that makes the most sense is some sort of damage control. We’re not the only ones to have given the powers that be a tremendous amount of grief over the weak guys this year. By giving the impression that the guys are in more danger than the girls, the fan bases for the guys will be energized and vote more – thus, in someone’s mind, keeping them in longer and negating that criticism. Putting people in the bottom two/three does give a bounce to that person, but that’s usually proven to be a dead-cat bounce. This time, though, with the guys not being in the cellar, it would be a free boost. If this is the case, we would not be surprised to see Chris Sligh in the “bottom group” next week. He needs the boost more than Blake does, and they are the only guys who have not been in the cellar – or, at least, that’s what Ryan told us.

If this is the case, well, for people who have built such a successful show, the Idol producers are dumber than they look. Our completely unsolicited advice: less manipulation, more looking for useful mentors, and more work clearing songs. It ain’t broke, don’t “fix” it!

Diana Ross is a terrific singer who has had success in music, TV, and Broadway. She has more top ten albums and singles than we care to count. Her musical talent is unquestioned. Unfortunately, none of this is a sure sign of success as an Idol guest coach. To say Tuesday night didn’t go that well is a big understatement.

Softballs R’ Us: Once again we had Melinda and Lakisha leading everyone else. Was anyone really surprised by that? If you’re a female with a big voice and you can’t pull off Diana Ross, then maybe singing isn’t the right career choice. Who’s better is really a matter of one’s personal preference, but for now it doesn’t matter. They’re both as safe as they can be, and it’ll stay that way for now.

It was actually a reasonably good night for the girls all around. Of course, their job was much easier – Diana Ross songs are made for women to sing, not men. If anything, the story of the night on the girl’s side was who were the most improved singers.

Haley pulled off something we haven’t seen from her in a while: a fairly reasonable performance. It works to her advantage that compared to the rest of the field (particularly the women) she’s fairly distinct. Certainly she’s not in the same genre as the “big voices” like Melinda. She’s in a fairly similar situation to Gina – both have fair to okay vocals who need good song selection to really shine, but get a boost because they’re not fishing in the same pool of votes as everyone else. If she can keep it together, she’ll surprise people and go further than anyone initially thought possible.

The other revelation was Jordin. Randy may have overdone the praise a little, but his point was fairly valid: Jordin has a lot of talent, but up to this point hasn’t always known how to use it. That changed on Tuesday: it was a complete performance. It’s not yet as good as something Melinda or Lakisha would do, but it’s not that far off. It’s three months to the finale; that’s plenty of time for her to get even better.

The Simon and Ryan Chronicles, Part Two: Let’s be clear about some things, shall we? American Idol is supposedly about finding the best undiscovered singing talent in America. So, in theory, who are the most important people? If you answered “the contestants”, you’re absolutely right. We have to feel for Melinda a bit, who was smack in the middle of the latest bit of forced humor between Simon and Ryan. Please, gentlemen… it’s not about either one of you, despite what your egos may think.

That was a nasty one: The guys were just not good this week, but there’s something to learn in how they performed. They were pretty much screwed from the start; there’s no way anyone could have had a truly outstanding night like Melinda and Lakisha did.

Faced with a theme that does not suit their musical style, a contestant has three choices. First, you can essentially ignore the theme and do your own stuff. No surprise that the guys who did this – Blake and Chris R. – are the ones who have established a strong musical identity.They paid lip service to the theme and did it their own way. Did it work? Well, not so much. It was like a jigsaw puzzle that just didn’t fit together. It wasn’t that the singing was bad, but the whole performance seemed out of place.

On the other hand, we have Phil Stacey. More than any of the guys, he was faithful to the theme – he has a powerful voice, and used it as much as he could. He was the best of the guys, but we still have a hard time believing he’ll last long. We call it the Paris Bennett syndrome: someone keeps changing their image every week that we have no idea which one will show up on a given week. If someone with PBS really does have a boatload of talent, they could get far, but they won’t win. If they’re someone not quite as talented (like Phil), the first time they have an off night they go home.

The riskiest option is to do what Chris Sligh did – try to compromise. Add a bit of yourself, and mix it with the original. We give him credit for trying, but it was inherently a high-risk move. When it works, it works well, but when it doesn’t it can blow up in your face. It wasn’t as bad as the judges would make us believe, but it wasn’t good at all. Like Blake and the other Chris, it didn’t fit. Chris is a far better singer than his top 12 performance made him out to be.

As for Brandon and Sanjaya… well, calling what they did singing is a bit generous. Brandon pulled off the mother of all chokejobs on the Idol stage. He’s supposed to be a good singer, yet we have seen very little of it up to now. Too much potential, not enough real show. It’s not that he is bad or untalented, but he’s never able to show it on stage. For all practical purposes, if you can show it, you don’t have it. It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy, but he was in over his head.

Sanjaya? Ain’t No Mountain High Enough was an appropriate song. There’s no mountain high enough to hide how bad he is. It’s nothing personal – Sanjaya seems nice enough – but he just shouldn’t be here. Period. Why is he staying in? As we said last week, Sanjaya’s fan base has to be respected. It’s something he’s had that Brandon didn’t. Of course, the top 12 brings with it not just a bigger stage, but a bigger voting audience as well. He’s not going to be around much longer, thankfully. For comparison, Scott Savol, who was in a similar situation (outlasting what people thought were better singers), did not enter the bottom three until the top 9. As we said about Antonella last week: a small fan base voting like crazy will only get you so far. We’ve seen the start of that with Sanjaya’s stint in the danger zone.

Consistent Inconsistency: how many times have we heard the judges complain that a performance was “karaoke”, or “copycat”, or that people failed to “make it their own”? Well, as we said above, three people did try to do just that. So what were the reactions? Fairly negative, bordering on the hostile (particularly in Chris Sligh’s case). We know it didn’t work that well, but would a word about how they were at least trying to do their own thing have killed them? More proof that the judges can sometimes be completely useless.

Bigger is not always better: Idol loves to bring out the big names once we’re in the top 12. (The big names love it too, of course, because it’s superb publicity.) Last year had everyone from Stevie Wonder to Queen to Andrea Bocelli, and this year will surely have just as many big names.

It may be a case of bigger not being better. Big names, even if they are genuinely talented, are not always the best mentors. We saw a case of this last year: Stevie Wonder is a superb singer, but as a mentor he was terrible. Anyone care to remember last year’s top 12 night? No one wants to, because it was terrible. What about Barry Manilow, the top 11 guest then? Terrible theme (songs from the 50s), but it was a good night. Say anything else about him, but he made the best out of the available talent and song selection.

The problem here is that being a good singer doesn’t mean one can tell someone else how to be a good singer. They’re fairly different skill sets, particularly given how short time the would-be Idols actually spend with the guest. It goes beyond whether someone is nice or not; teaching and tutoring is something that not everyone can pull off. It’s like sports: not all good players become good coaches, and the reverse is also true.

Of course, we also have the “singers” that really aren’t. (See: Jennifer Lopez.) Big names, big sales, but not really good, talented singers. Just what are they bringing to the table? Butt-shaking skills? That week could the worst train wreck of the season.

Welcome to the Idol Guy, a weekly look at the goings-on in the Idol world. This is not a recap; those in the hands of fine FORT recappers Yardgnome, MotherSister, and MsFroggy.

Is repetition becoming the theme for this season of American Idol? Last week we touched upon the tendency to repeat songs from previous seasons. This week, the Idols seemed to turn back the clock to the top 24 week. Of course, we know how well that week went. For the guys, it was calamitous. For the girls, it was a lot better, with once again Lakisha and Melinda standing out. It’s déjà vu all over again.

Still, what’s more important is that we have our top 12 finalists. Just like the postseason of any major league sport, there are a few people who don’t really deserve to be there. So who’s good, who’s bad, and who’s ghastly?

The Really, Really Good
Melinda Doolittle – what’s most remarkable about her is not just that she is good; it’s that she makes being good look so effortless and natural. Like Taylor Hicks last year, her musical experience is proving to be a significant asset – excellent song choices and performance skills are all things that are best learned out in the real world. Are we gushing? Yes, but she rightly deserves it. How far will she go? See below.

Lakisha Jones – she’s received a veritable tongue bath from the judges of late. Personally, we think she’s a tad bit overrated. Make no mistake, she’s good, but not as good as you’d think if you just listened to the judges. The trouble is her performances have been somewhat one-dimensional. There’s not really a whole lot of variety to be found there.

Lakisha and Melinda are the two front-runners this season, but we think it’s unlikely that they’ll both make it into the finale. It’s worth noting that every finale has had two singers with fairly different styles and sounds. That’s not going to change this season. One of the two will end up in the finale; the other will go out before the final four, much to everyone’s shock and disbelief. Remember: you heard it here first, folks.

Blake Lewis – there’s a lot to like in Blake. He’s perhaps one of the most polished contestants in the top 12, something that shows in his performances. His singing voice is good, and he makes very good song choices. The beat-boxing, if used properly, is his ace in the hole. He’s done well against the guys, but how will he do now that it’s co-ed? We shall see.

Chris Sligh – ever since he said in his audition where he said he wanted to make David Hasselhoff cry, he’s established himself firmly in the public’s mind. That was enough to get him to the top 12, but we’re not sure how far it can get him past that. He has a big voice – the best among the guys – but against singers like Lakisha, that can get lost. Is there something more to Chris Sligh aside from his colorful personality and his powerful voice? How well will he stack up against the girls?

The (Not-so) Bad
Stephanie Edwards – Any other season she’d be a standout, but with two other big voices in the mix Stephanie gets overshadowed. There’s not much she can do, to be honest. She has to find a way to distinguish herself from Lakisha and Melinda, but is that really possible? Still, she’s good enough that she’ll survive for at least a few weeks more, but beyond that her future is cloudy. We predict howls of outrage when she’s eliminated before people think her time is up, which looks likely.

Gina Glocksen – she needed a good performance on Wednesday night to put herself safely to the top 12, and she delivered. Now that she’s in the finals, she needs a reality check. She got in the final by being alt-Gina, the rocker chick, not being glam Gina from the top 20 and 24 performances. She needs to figure out what she wants her image to be, and pick her songs accordingly. Unless she does that, she might be gone sooner rather than later. If she plays her cards right she could go pretty far, since she’ll have the rock vote all by herself.

Chris Richardson – what’s the thing we most remember about him? He (supposedly) looks like Justin Timberlake. Beyond that… not much else. He reminds us a bit of Ace Young – good eye candy, but an okay voice at best. That’s not exactly a formula for overwhelming success, is it? We don’t think he’s that good. He’ll make the tour, but not much further than that.

Brandon Rogers – the story of how he got to the top 12 is similar to Gina’s. Two subpar performances, needed something really good to make it, and he succeeded. His problem is that he seems to have trouble taking the lead when he sings – his overall tone and energy seems to be too subdued, as if he’s forgotten he’s not singing backup anymore. It’s a pity, because otherwise his singing is pretty good. He could use some tips from Melinda.

Jordin Sparks – every season has at least one teenage girl in the top 12. Usually, they have plenty of energy, a good amount of talent, but tend to be rather unpolished as performers. Jordin is no different, and is actually a fairly good example of the class. She could get lost in the mix, but her youth will boost her fan base and keep her safe – for now. More than anyone else, she needs to grow as a performer and prove that she can mix it up with the front-runners.

The Outright Ghastly
Sanjaya Malakar – The last time Sanjaya had a really, really good performance was… well, we don’t know anymore. Has he had one, anyway? So who’s voting for Sanjaya? We don’t know. The strength of his fan base has us mystified. Somebody please help us out here.

Haley Scarnato – we’ll be a little generous in our assessment. Haley isn’t that bad (read: not a total disaster), but she’s not that good either. Her song choice tends towards the ambitious – in the past three shows she’s done Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, and Faith Hill – but she doesn’t have the chops to pull those off. Still, with the underwhelming guys in the top 12, she could make it to the tour. Maybe.

Phil Stacey – the main reason that Phil’s in here is because he’s doing a very good job of backing into the final 12. He started out well, had an okay top 20, but a near-disastrous top 16. I mean, come on, LeAnn Rimes? She’s a good singer, but her songs and Phil just don’t fit. It made about as much sense as Britney Spears getting a good parenting award. Phil is going from good, to bad, to terrible… and might go home sooner rather than later.

Be careful what you wish for: for the second week in a row people aren’t all that happy with the results. Last week it was AJ Tabaldo; this week it’s Sabrina Sloan. People aren’t exactly missing the three other cuts – Antonella Barba, Sundance Head, or Jared Cotter.

We’re not going to imitate Randy and Paula who expressed surprise at losing Sabrina and Sundance, respectively. The Idol voting audience is fairly diverse, and one should expect that the contestant mix will reflect that. For example, country music fans probably won’t reward a rocker with many votes even if that rocker is the best singer left. With half of the six slots for the girls already occupied by “big voices” (Lakisha, Melinda, and Stephanie) it wasn’t likely that a similar voice, Sabrina, would get through.

Sundance, meanwhile, wasn’t consistent. His best performance was one that didn’t count – the one from the results show. At his best, he was top 12 material, but he could never do it regularly. More often than not he laid on a performance that had good spots, but just as many bad ones. That’s not a formula for Idol success. Still, we’ll give him credit for the best line said after getting eliminated – although we suspect he won’t have too much of a hard time finding work.

As for Antonella and Jared, the less said, the better. Neither had the vocals to stay for much longer. Jared’s hand over his face had us slapping our foreheads at its utter cheesiness. As for Antonella, Photogate may have energized her fans, but it also made it difficult to get new ones. A small number of people voting like mad only gets you so far.

Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as too much information: the whole tell-us-a-secret gimmick this week left us with far too many too-much-information moments. However, that was topped by Ryan Seacrest giving us the mental image of Randy Jackson nude wrestling with Borat. Hand us some bleach, please!

Worst attempt at Idol manipulation ever: even though we’re generally skeptical of producer manipulation, we have to admit that this season has the feel of very ham-handed tinkering. The top 24 was loaded with female power singers; now they constitute fully a third of the top 12. It’s clear that the powers that be are stacking the deck and wants to influence what kind of singer wins.

There’s nothing good that can come out of this. We’ve seen what the effects have been – the top 12 is not as good as other seasons. It lacks the diversity that we’ve had before, and even taking that into consideration we’re not convinced this group is, collectively, as good as previous seasons.

We can’t be sure why this is being done, but we have to wonder how much of it is because Taylor won last year. Given that it hasn’t been easy to market him to a wider audience, we can’t help but wonder if someone said, “We can’t allow this to happen, we have to make sure someone commercial wins next time.” It’s as good an explanation as any.

Whatever the reasoning may be, it’s a remarkably short-sighted one. Something that has been discussed here on the FORT has been how being an Idol finalist is no longer “a career drag”. It is true that on a critical and commercial level, American Idol finalists have never been more successful. Carrie Underwood sold millions and walked off with quite a few awards in 2006. Chris Daughtry is on top of the charts right now. Even contestants who finished relatively poorly have come out with surprisingly good albums (see Kellie Pickler). True, Taylor hasn’t sold nearly as well as they hoped, and some in the music industry might never fully accept Idol finalists (ask LeAnn Rimes and Faith Hill what they really think about Carrie), but overall the picture has never been better.

It seems to be that the American Idol empire has chosen to fix something that isn’t all that broke. That rarely works well, unfortunately.