Supposedly, this week’s theme was songs from movies. It’s a pity that no one chose a song from a disaster movie, because that’s exactly what we got: a disaster. (Of course, after Pia’s exit last week, it was perfectly appropriate.) Except for one performance, the top eight turned in largely mediocre performances, with more than a few utter disasters.

The best part about Paul McDonald’s performance? The saxophone. It was awful from top to bottom. This was like having an uncle at a family gathering having one too many beers and deciding to pick up the microphone. Tuneless, funless, tedious to watch, a complete waste of time. Paul can be entertaining at times – but not this week.

Lauren, Lauren, Lauren… where do I begin? I know she’s 16, and I also know that lots of teens on Idol pick songs they like that may not work for them. Still, of all the people to pick, Miley Cyrus? Really? Really? That said, she did an okay job with the song – but as a song, it’s so unimpressive than even an above-average vocal doesn’t impress anyone. Essentially, this was something like a 8/10 performance – but with an abysmally low difficulty rating. I can’t give Lauren any credit for doing well with this kind of garbage.

Stefano Langome was more or less up to expectations. He picks a song that requires him to express emotions well AND put notes right where they ought to be. He succeeds in the latter, but utterly fails in the former. Stefano’s performances always come off a little… antiseptic. He’s a decent enough singer, but as a performer he’s completely out of his depth.

I’m torn what to think about Scotty McCreery. I sort of like the kind of voice he has, but… I just wish he was able to surprise me even one bit. We all know what he’s going to do by know – he’s going to pick the most old-school country song and arrangement he can find, and do a reasonably okay job of it. Just about two months into the season, though, this act has gone stale. Come on, Scotty – good country acts on Idol haven’t showed as little variety as you have. You can’t win Idol – nor will you have a good post-show career – if you’re essentially a one-trick pony. I’m not sure Scotty is anything more than that right now.

The biggest your mileage-may-vary-moment of the night? Casey Abrams. It really depends on if you like this sort of old-fashioned, laid-back, lounge music. If you don’t, you’ll think it was an utterly dull song that could be used to cure insomia. Fans of the genre will insist that it was a future performance that showed what jazz is all about. I’m sort of the in the middle – yes, it was interesting that he did jazz on the Idol stage. However… being a soft, subtle singer can be as hard as hitting all the power notes. Vocally this was just okay – too many errant intakes of air. I appreciate the risk, but I don’t think it paid off as much as it could have. (Idol fans can speculate what the results would be if Haley had tried anything like this.)

The phrase “that song was too big for you” or variants thereof is most used for R&B singers, but it describes to a T what happened to Haley Reinhart. She can be a good performer, but not the ridiculous over-the-top kind that this needed. To be fair, Haley was trying – but she was trying too hard, which ended up compromising her vocals as well. This was the sort of mess she was turning in earlier in the season. I will be shocked if she’s not in the bottom three.

One of the hardest things to do on Idol is improve on someone’s trademark moment. Clay Aiken did Bridge Over Troubled Water so many years ago, but ever since then people had avoided it – until Jacob Lusk touched it this week. Frankly, I was underwhelmed. His vocals were good, but it just didn’t feel special. There have been so many takes on this song that it has to feel that way to matter. And… it didn’t. This was a good vocal, but it just didn’t feel like Jacob was giving it his all. Like Stefano, in a way, it felt somewhat antiseptic, as if all the acting was just that – acting. Jacob has the kind of voice to knock it out of the park – but he failed to do so.

At least the producers sent audiences home happy. James Durbin was really the only good performance. Vocally, I’d give it something like a 7.5/10 – James was a little shouty in portions – but there’s no doubt it was entertaining and fun to watch and listen to. James was into it, the crowd was hot, it felt real and not contrived like so many of the other performances. James was being James, and that, in balance, was a very good thing. Well done.

Random notes: Two items before I give out my picks for elimination. First, the judges. I don’t understand how this judging panel went so bad so quickly. They were doing a good enough balance of giving criticism and praise earlier in the season; this week they ladled on the praise so thickly everyone at home was liable to become diabetic. It’s almost like we took Paula Abdul, took out the drunkenness and whatever else she was on, then cloned her three times. It’s enough to make you wish for Kara DioGuardi.

Next: I know it’s Idol tradition to have the Zombie Music Executive - seasons past, that was filled out by Clive Davis – but can we safely say that Jimmy Iovine on TV as a failure? He adds nothing that the Idol punditocracy also knows, and he is woefully untelegenic as well.

The pick: Oy. With five women going home one after the other, it’s tempting to pick Haley to go home. However, there is one catch: she was one of the few people who got any criticism last night. I have a sneaking suspicion this means that her fans will be going all-out to vote for her – think a superpowered Sesame Street Effect (hat tip to my friends at What Not to Sing). She will be in danger, but I don’t think she’s in 100% trouble either.

The next suspect is Stefano Langome, but I don’t think that it’s an open and shut case either. There are a lot of teens/tweens voting, which helps explain Stefano’s survival. With this crop of contestants – all reasonably talented, but no one really standing out – any steady voting bloc helps. (Of course, I picked that as a reason for Thia to go home.)

Still, eighth is a special place. Historically, a lot of ex-frontrunners who faded have finished in eighth. Nadia Turner and Michael Johns both left in this place. Andrew Garcia might be considered “eighth” too, since he left on a double-elimination week with nine people left. Doesn’t that description sound like Casey Abrams? To add to the similarity, Casey also has a penchant for older songs – just like Nadia and Michael.

We could be in for a surprise this week.

The pick: Casey Abrams to go home.

I’ve complained before about repeat themes, but this week’s theme honestly gives us folks at home another reason to gripe. I sort of understand repeating themes if it’s given us good results, but the previous time we did the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame it was…  disappointing. So why exactly did we repeat that whole theme again? It’s not exactly like there was a giant clamor for this season’s contestants to sing songs from a Hall of Fame. (Which, by the way, causes people like me and our friends at What Not to Sing fits of annoyance at the age of the songs.)

Whether Jacob Lusk sang well or not was overshadowed by his completely idiotic unforced error in the pre-song interview. Essentially, what he was saying that “if I fail because I suck, I should get through anyway!” Why the heck you antagonize the people on whose (Idol) survival you depend on… maybe this was an extreme case of pride goeth before the fall. The song itself was okay – nothing particularly outstanding to write home about, but it wasn’t anything that made people think he was particularly good either.

One thing you can say about Haley Reinhart’s version of Piece Of My Heart – the commitment was all there. It doesn’t change the fact that she’s not as good a singer as most of the field. Don’t look for a vocal masterpiece here. What it was, though, was a respectable version of an uptempo song that was as entertaining as anything else last night. You could do a heck of a lot worse. Haley’s not going to win, but she’s perfectly capable of going further than many expect.

Casey Abrams was smart to stay away from Every Little Thing is Magic. Like Haley, it was no vocal masterpiece, but it was as good as it had to be. What sets Casey apart is the ability to make the most of his material – depending on what’s needed, he can make it emotional, or he can make it light and entertaining. This was a good mix that did exactly what it had to do.

I’m frankly not familiar enough with what songs Lauren Alaina had to choose from, but this was not an ideal choice. Yes, it was a country song, and Lauren can be a good country singer. But for all her talents, Lauren isn’t at her best doing this kind of big R&B song – it’s too big for her. She’s got a bubbly, lively personality – which we didn’t see much of. She sang it well, but it was just okay. Not much more than that.

Pia’s taken some shots for doing all ballads, but James deserved some for largely sticking with fast songs. In some ways, this was a predictable choice: the fast paced rocker goes for the slow, emotional song. If you want to go back in Idol history, Adam Lambert did The Tracks of My Tears right after Ring of Fire. Overall, James did a good job. He sang well, did most of the emotions right, but there wasn’t that one special moment that separates the okay from the really great.

Who knew Scotty McCreery could be such a ham? There’s no other word for how he was flirting and playing with the crowd. This was the most entertaining performance of the night. Best? No. Scotty’s vocals are so unique they’re hard to compare to anyone else, but even on that mark he wasn’t as good as we’ve seen before.

The reality is that Pia Toscano, for all her vocal chops, is not a natural performer. She can do a good job faking it, but look closely: there’s not the natural charisma and confidence that a Lauren or James have in abundance. That’s not necessarily a roadblock by itself, and Pia’s fans can reassure themselves that it will only get better. Still, this was an excellent performance – and far and away the best of the night. Well done.

Somebody has to bring up the back of the pack, and it’s clear who it is: Stefano Langome. Now that Thia’s gone, he’s assumed the spot of “sings well, but has no emotion”. That sums up his song – and too much of his Idol stay.

Paul McDonald is officially, and completely, nuts. And in a good way. Vocally, he’s not good – but there’s so much charisma and personality there that, as far as entertainment is concerned, makes up for all of what he doesn’t have. He just makes audiences, viewers, and grumpy Idol pundits like me happy in a way no one else this season can.

My apologies for the somewhat… abbreviated reviews, but the truth is I didn’t particularly find it an enjoyable show. Yes, the singing was mostly good… but I’m looking for that one special moment that makes someone a star. I’m not seeing it this week, to be honest. There’s also the factor of predictability – this bunch, while great singers, aren’t the risk-takers that I’ve come to expect from my front-runners. We know, generally, what these contestants will do once we hear the song. Come on, people, give us the unexpected!

The pick: Realistically it should be down to two people. Jacob was mediocre, and utterly embarrassed himself in the pre-song interview. Stefano is just plain vocally outmatched right now.

It’s a coin flip, but I’ll call it for a Stefano boot. I still don’t trust his fanbase’s size, and he did no favors this week.

Stefano Langome to go home.