Archive for the ‘Season Six’ Category

Top 11 Results: “I Told You So”… literally!

Thursday, March 19th, 2009

Somehow, Carrie Underwood and Randy Travis singing I Told You So was strangely appropriate. Far and away the consensus pick to go home was Michael Sarver; instead based largely on DialIdol and song age I made the call that Alexis Grace would end up in the bottom. My only mistake was to believe that Alexis’s exit would be vetoed. I was wrong on that part. Still, I was a lot closer than Conventional Wisdom was.

I already explained yesterday why Alexis was in very real danger. Her low Dialidol score tipped us off to look at the numbers more closely. Her average and median song age was disproportionately high – over 30 when everyone else except Adam Lambert was in the low 20s or below. With everyone else singing very young, singing old songs becomes much more noticable. If you’re Adam Lambert, you have a gimmick that surpasses that. She didn’t; and just one so-so performance when others elevated their game was enough to get her out of there.

Alexis can also be considered a casualty of the new semifinals format as well. One of the challenges coming out of the group rounds is that it became that much harder to build up any significant fanbase out of them: one song, with a multi-week gap, does not a solid fanbase make.

It’s something that can hurt people all season long – particularly for singers out of Group 1. In the three seasons that had the group format, only one contestant ever made it to the finale after singing in the first group. That was Season 3′s Diana DeGarmo; and her ride to the finale was far from smooth. It’s hard to build momentum if you’re not singing for several weeks in a row.

Her exit can be summed up quickly, and fairly. Despite all the pimpage and promotion she got, there were problems. She had a fanbase that didn’t have a chance to solidify, and couldn’t grow because of limited appeal – winning over the young power-voting Idol blocs with Aretha Franklin and Dolly Parton was a hard task, at best. Yes, she was a good, maybe even great singer – but to succeed on Idol you need to know your audience. Alexis Grace and Idol voters proved to be a bad fit.

There’s a rich element of irony when it comes to this week’s results, though. The producers’s own rule change worked against them. Alexis would have almost certainly survived if she had gone through a three-song semifinal. It would have given her fanbase a chance to solidify, and for her to define her musical identity (which she didn’t do too well, Kara DioGuardi’s exceptionally useless advice of dirtying it up notwithstanding). As it is, though, someone that TPTB wanted to advance far is ending up going home as a direct result of executive meddling. Alexis just got caught in about as unlucky a spot as you can imagine.

Now, as to why they didn’t save her? The answer to that is tied into someone else… Adam Lambert. I’ll get back to him in a little while.

Hold the champagne: Strategically, there was one overwhelming theme for the night: favorites faltered while the midcard upped their game. Who knows, maybe everyone outside the Favored Four Three are surprisingly Genre Savvy – they can’t be all too happy at the idea of meekly standing by while the Coronation of the Producers’ Idol proceeds as planned. Kris Allen, Matt Giraud, and Anoop Desai were all midcard singers at best previous to this show – now you have to at least consider them in the mix.

Danny Gokey and Lil Rounds can recover without too much trouble. They didn’t really stink too much, they were just… mediocre. It’s the type of performance that voters won’t hold against you too much. Last week will almost certainly be better for both of them – if only because it’s hard to make worse song choices than either of them did. As I said yesterday – Carrie Underwood and Martina McBride? Seriously? That’s like carrying a wooden stick to a gunfight. While neither of them is in danger – yet – they both need a good, undisputed showstopper in the next two to four weeks if they want to get in the final four.

Kris, Matt, and Anoop all need to be able to prove that this week wasn’t a fluke. Even normally bad contestants can put it all together if they can find a theme, song, and arrangement that fits them like a glove. If they can pull it off, the upside could be significant. The dark horse in here is Kris – his vocals are not as good as Anoop’s, but better at conveying emotions. Giraud doesn’t really have the vocals to compete with either one.

There’s one puzzle in the Touring Ten that I haven’t quite figured out: Allison Iraheta. She’s sung well, her songs are young, and so is she. I don’t have any Idolmetric measurement that says she’s in danger. She should not be in the bottom three (now two). On the flip side, she’s likely to pick up at least some votes from Alexis’s old fanbase. Beyond that… well, even I don’t have the answer for that.

There’s a pretty clear division, too, about who’s clearly lagging behind: Michael Sarver, Scott Macintyre, and Megan Joy. Right now, they’re all getting by on something other than singing. Michael’s probably safe for two weeks – see the latest WNTS editorial for the reasoning behind that, but the order is immaterial. None of them are going to win, and the only question is how many others will go before they do.

And then we have Adam Lambert. He really deserves a section of his own.

Damaged Goods? Maybe.: The debate over Adam’s version of Ring of Fire will probably last until the season ends, if not even longer. Still, it’s undeniable that it did change things around.

I was never a big believer in Adam Lambert, largely because I thought the theatrics covered up a voice that didn’t know the meaning of subtlety. Adam’s style was just not sustainable in the long term. The novelty would eventually wear thin, and my money was on him finishing in the high midcard – fourth to sixth.

I know I’m going to be challenged on that statement, so let me explain it a bit more. Adam has zero crossover ability. He can’t appeal to a wide cross-section of Idol voters; people that liked that over-the-top theatric style would love it from the start, but it would have been an uphill climb to win those who don’t. That crossover ability is vital to lasting long on the show.

With that in mind, Adam’s challenge was essentially how long he could keep going along this path before leaving, or proving that he’s more than a stage actor that happens to sing decently, too. The trouble is, though, his version of Ring of Fire was so… unusual, it sped up that process. From Idol voters, a pretty common reaction was:  ”what the heck was that?”

I’m sure this will prompt Adam’s fans to write in anger. I’m not going to deny that he has fans – but I think that for everyone one he won over, there was at least one who now wants to burn him at the stake and another two scratching their heads.

That’s not to deny that he has talent. He is very, very good at what he does. What I’m questioning is whether this is something that the collective Idol fan base can really stomach for long. Everything I’ve known about it tells me: no.

The upside is that right now, Adam is looking iffy for the finale. The producers are perfectly happy to keep him around as long as they want. Remember, the underlying goal – seemingly – of the whole season – was Drama and Buzz. I can’t deny Adam delivers on that.

The effect of that was to make the veto an exceptionally valuable tool for the producers – one that just wouldn’t do to be used right now. Phil Stacey had it right: the “veto” is essentially an insurance policy for Danny and Adam.

Once the novelty and appeal of Adam’s theatrics go away, he’s surprisingly vulnerable. By far, he is singing the oldest songs in the competition on average. There’s a decent chance he could crash out, say, seventh. We’ve had three weeks of Adam singing in competition – is his current pace and style something that can work for two months or so? I doubt it.

Taken all in context, what’s clear to me is that the Judges’ Veto just became Adam’s Veto. It’s not going to be used on anyone else, except maybe Danny – but he doesn’t really need it. Adam does.

If Adam had not sung Ring of Fire – if the producers had believed that he could survive for a long period independently, as they probably don’t right now – they would have had freedom to use the veto now and save Alexis. However, the producers have their own priorities – and one of them seems to be Save Adam. The judges and producers want Adam to go deep so badly they’re willing to keep the veto in check even in a perfect spot to use it, all because it wasn’t Adam up there.

Credibility? What credibility?: Having laid out the case for not using the Veto so early, one can ask why I thought Alexis would be saved anyway.

It essentially came down to two things: I knew Alexis was still a judge’s favorite and might be treated more kindly. The other reason was more pipe dreams than anything else: they needed credibility. So far, off the Idol stage, the season has been dominated by ham-handed manipulation. What we got on Wednesday was… more of the same.  Does anyone think that on pure merit alone Alexis should be gone before Michael Sarver? Really?

No. Of course not. It would have been the perfect time to use the veto and live up to what they claimed it was for. Instead, it became another self-sustained injury for the Idol franchise. This week confirmed what we all had just suspected before, and will make people even more tired of the Official Manipulation.

The bye-ku returns! – I didn’t have time to do this last week, but… the bye-ku returns. Here’s our official farewell to Alexis Grace in verse:

Mother with pink streaks
Stop! Song older than thirty!
Shocker to many

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Posted in Season Eight, Season Five, Season One, Season Six | 13 Comments »

How Old Is This Song? 2.0

Wednesday, December 31st, 2008

If you were with us during Season Seven, you may recall that we took a hard look at Idol song ages. At the time, I called the numbers “preliminary”. Since then, I’ve wanted to take a closer, more detailed look at the numbers. Unfortunately, that little thing called real life decided to interfere and delayed it, but eventually I found the time.

For people who didn’t read the early version, here’s the short summary. Song age turns out to be a pretty influential factor in the success of Idol contesants – both on and off the show. The younger an Idol contestant’s song, the more likely he/she is to succeed – either on the show, after, or both. This shows itself in a few ways, but we’ll get to the exact details later.

The Rules

Of course, before we get to analyzing song ages, we need to discuss the ground rules. Analyzing each and every contestant in the seven seasons of American Idol would result in a classic case of information overload. Besides, for semi-finalists there isn’t really enough data to draw any sort of useful conclusions. So, we’ll limit ourselves to everyone who’s made it to the finals stage – top 10 for Season One, top 12 for the other seasons. That’s 82 contestants in all.

The other thorny question is, just how do you measure song age? Cover songs cause the most problems in this area; do you measure from the original or the cover version? We’ve decided to stick with what’s called the primary song age – i.e., when the song was first made famous in the US. Occasionally, this results in some oddities. For example, David Hernandez sang It’s All Coming Back to Me Now when the theme was the 80s. However, because the song was made famous by Celine Dion in 1996, we date it to that year – not 1989, when it was first released in Britain.

But the song age is just the raw data – to get any meaning, you need to use some statistics. Everyone knows what the average is, but sometimes it’s not too useful. One song with a disproportionately high or low age can distort the data. So, we use something else called the median. The short version is: for our purposes, the median will be an age where half of the songs being considered are younger, while the other half is older. Check the link to Wikipedia for the details.

Let’s give credit where the credit is due as well. Our first effort – and this one – would not have been possible without the data provided by Nick over at What Not to Sing. They have our undying thanks, and any serious Idol viewer should check them out.

And now, let’s take a look at each season of Idol, and see what the numbers tell us. (more…)

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Posted in Season Five, Season Four, Season One, Season Seven, Season Six, Season Three, Season Two | 3 Comments »

The Idol Guy, Year In Review: (No) Thanks For The Memories

Saturday, May 26th, 2007

The lights are off in the Kodak Theater. The confetti is in the dumpster. Jordin Sparks is now safely enshrined in the hall of Idol champions. Given the many disappointments of this season, one is tempted to just consign it to the dustbin as soon as possible. Still, before we do that, let’s take the time to look at the memorable aspects of this season … and see if we can actually learn from them. Call it our version of the Golden Idol, except we put the show itself under scrutiny. Let’s get started, shall we?

We’ve got a bad feeling about this
Very early on we thought the top 24 was not terribly impressive. We wished we would have been proven wrong, but we were right. The cream of the crop were as good as any season you’ll find, but the rest were all lacking. Would the likes of Chris and Lakisha got as far as they did any other season? We doubt it.

Why was this the case? We doubt that it’s because America became tone-deaf all of a sudden. Is it that hard to find 24 good singers? Let’s be upfront: Randy, Paula, and Simon messed up the top 24. Badly. Why did this happen? Maybe because they wanted to avoid what happened in season five and wanted to more specifically control who won. We said so way back in our top 12 roundup. We hate to say it, but we’ll say it anyway: we told you so!

What we called then “ham-handed tinkering” resulted in a rather disappointing season. Week after week we got mediocre performances that failed to make an impression on us at home. This show has succeeded in creating singers who have received both commercial and critical acclaim, but we never got that feeling this season. While Melinda and Jordin were talented in their own right, and Blake was able to bring something new to the Idol stage, the rest of the field just wasn’t very impressive. Even the front runners didn’t always have that unique “X-factor” that separates the merely good from the truly outstanding. Melinda’s exit just shy of the finale was, in a way, perfectly representative of the whole disaster of a season.

Make no mistake: most of the problems we fans at home had with this season were a direct result of how the judges bobbled the top 24, and maybe even before that. Perhaps a little less manipulation would be in order. But who are we kidding – this is Idol we’re talking about. They’re addicted to trying to make things go as they want, even if there’s no need for it, or the way they want to go is utterly boneheaded to anyone outside of the Idol machine.

Idols fought the law and the law won
Ah, the delicious scent of scandal. Every season has it. Anyone remember Season 4′s Leroy “Can You Dig It” Wells, who ended up watching his appearance during the audition rounds from jail? Or Season 5′s Brittenum twins? Well, this season’s group had more its fair share. Our personal favorite? Ashyln Carr, who before being allowed to sing twice in front of our judges was arrested by police for … pouring sugar into the fuel tank of her ex-boyfriend’s car. Obviously she’s never watched Mythbusters, otherwise she’d have used bleach instead.

Former Idol alums were also part of this season’s rap sheet. Season 2′s Olivia Mojica (who got as far as the group stages) had her own Paris Hilton moment when her sex tape was released. Season 4′s Jessica Sierra ended up getting the full treatment – she smashed a glass over someone’s head in a Tampa bar, and was soon booked for battery. When it turned out she had cocaine in her purse, she was booked for that, too. After seeing her mugshot, well, let’s just say that Jessica’s looked better.

Of course, this season’s own top 24 wouldn’t let themselves be outclassed in the scandal department. Only two words have to be spoken: Antonella Barba. Her pictures in a variety of, uh, poses, overshadowed the first three weeks of voting. What she lacked in signing ability, she didn’t quite make up for with good judgment – taking wet t-shirt photos at a war memorial is downright stupid. While our prediction of her making the pages of Playboy didn’t quite pan out, she’s still established a permanent place in the pantheon of Idol stupidity. When she was booted just shy of the final 12, we thought the limelight would finally focus on the singing. Well, that did happen – only in a way we never thought possible. Hello, Sanjaya!

Speaking of him, his family turned out to have minor embarrassments of their own. His sister and fellow auditionee Shyamali had photos of her own come out on the Internet – and let’s just say rarely have guitars been more strategically placed. Breaking the law seemed to be a family affair, too: police apparently once found Shyamali at the family residence guarding 310 marijuana plants in the garage; she directed the police to another location where both Mom and Step-Dad were, along with yet more ganja. All three were arrested and booked; Mom and Dad’s mugshots are public, but because she was a minor at the time, Shyamali’s isn’t.

Even the celebrity guests got into the act. Akon found himself in hot water in the Carribean island of Trinidad when news surfaced of a raunchy on-stage dance involving a 15-year-old girl. Despite curiously scanty media coverage, the resulting flap was enough for erstwhile sponsor Verizon to pull out, removing his music from their ringtone store. They also canceled their sponsorship of fellow Idol guest Gwen Stefani’s tour, which he had been opening for. Last we heard, he’s apologized for his shenanigans. His “excuse”? He didn’t know the girl in question was a minor.

Is this American Idol or America’s Dumbest Criminals?

Idol Gives What Back?
No year-end roundup would be complete mentioning the much-hyped charity special. For many weeks beforehand, Ryan constantly promoted the event, name-dropping who knows how many big names that would supposedly help out with this very, very special event. Of course, given that many of the names mentioned had little, we were wondering just how they would participate. Apparently, their “participation” was limited to dancing along to Stayin’ Alive. (We should note that some viewers in foreign countries didn’t see this part of Idol Gives Back. Whether that was good or bad, we’ll let you decide.)

We expressed our skepticism of the whole Idol Gives Back business when it first aired, and we’ve seen little to change our minds since then. We still have no idea just how much of the money raised actually came from the companies that produce and sponsor Idol as opposed to people watching at home. We’ll repeat what we said then, with some stronger language this time around. Idol Gives Back may have started with the noblest of intentions, but somewhere along the line it became an exercise in self-promotion. Will some worthy causes be helped? Sure, but it was overshadowed by the excessive amount of self-congratulations Idol treated itself to. The ones who really gave back? Not Idol, but the countless millions who watched and donated. They deserve the credit.

The big question down the road is how the money will be spent. Already, questions about one of the heavily promoted initiatives – anti-malarial nets – are being raised. Let’s not even mention the endemic corruption in many parts in Africa, and you begin to wonder how much will end up where it can help the most number of people, instead of lining some politician’s pockets.

The Sanjaya Zone
We normally don’t pay an awful lot of attention to the official contestant profiles. Maybe we should from now on. This question-and-answer from Sanjaya’s profile may well have foreshadowed his entire Idol stay.

Most embarrassing moments?

I don’t get embarrassed.

It certainly took someone who was embarrassment-proof to turn in the kinds of performances Sanjaya did. We knew he was not a good singer, but the bigger stage of the top 12 seemed to “inspire” him. And not in a good way. There, Sanjaya first butchered Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, and You Really Got Me was just as horrific. (Did we really need to see that again during the finale?) The “pinnacle” of his stay, however, was Bathwater. It deserves its infamy not just for the singing, although that was its usual quality. It was, simply put, the hair. The fauxhawk was utterly and completely ridiculous. We have it on good authority some sharks ended up taking warm-up laps. The combination of bad singing and bad hair led us to create the Sanjaya Zone. As of now, we have not had any other inductions into it, or even any nominations. Sanjaya was that bad.

What we find both disturbing and maddening is how some commentators are proclaiming that the Sanjaya is the “star” of this season. We’ve never heard of a more ridiculous suggestion. Sanjaya is no more a “star” than a circus sideshow was. He’ll have his 15 minutes of fame – but so did William Hung. Really, what does he bring to the table? How far can some charisma, and the willingness to “stand out” (read: act like a complete and utter buffoon) go?

I watched American Idol and I wished a fight broke out!
The rather complicated relationship between Simon and Ryan has taken far too many turns towards soap opera territory of late. We think it’s time for the next step: for someone to get physical. Wouldn’t it be grand if Simon charged the stage like a hit batter charging the mound in baseball? Then, of course, we’d have the band and the audience join in the ensuing dogpile, so we could have a full-fledged bench-clearing brawl.

Of course, we could “help” things along by planting people in the front row audience seats. Maybe the following lineup would do:
1. Roger Clemens
2. Ron Artest
3. Mike Tyson
4. Any random Taiwanese legislator (Search for “Taiwan legislative brawl” on Youtube to see why.)
5. Russell Crowe
6. Jessica Sierra
7. The Cincinnati Bengals

Whose show is this, anyway?
More than any other season, this seemed to be the year Idol decided to bring out the marquee guests, both to appear as “mentors” and to serve as random guests on results night.

Early on, we were rather skeptical about just how useful the celebrity coaches would be. In the end, while some proved to be reasonably useful (Peter Noone, Martina McBride, Bon Jovi), some were completely useless (Diana Ross, Tony Bennett, Gwen Stefani). It was another case where our commentary proved to be unusually prescient.

To make matters worse, the choice of guests usually limited the themes as well, and some of those were woefully limited. Diana Ross songs got the finals off to a bad start (how can one expect guys to sing Diana Ross?), and not too long after perhaps we got the most ridiculous theme in Idol history: songs by Gwen Stefani or by artists that inspired her. Huh? Are our would-be Idols supposed to be psychic, able to read Gwen Stefani’s mind now? It’s no coincidence that that week was regarded as the worst episode up to that point.

Another trend that reached full steam this season was the guests who only showed up to sing on results night. We understand the big names when it’s a special week like Idol Gives Back or the finale, but otherwise we don’t like it. We’re still scratching our heads what Akon, Pink, and Fergie exactly had to do with Idol that justified bringing them on. Oh yes, how could we forget – they were selling something. Maybe it’s just us, but we’re not fans of people who haven’t had anything to do with the show just suddenly appearing on Wednesday night and having Ryan “remind” us that they have something to sell. (There’s a rich sense of irony, though, that some of this season’s guests have dissed Idol in the past and won’t even clear their songs. Yes, we’re talking about you, Pink.)

Does somebody have a DeLorean we can borrow?
There’s a big part of us that wishes we could just go back in time and erase this whole season from history. Unfortunately, we can’t. It got off to a rough start with plenty of horrendous auditions, and never got better from there. How this season will be remembered? Not too fondly, although some rehabilitation may ensue if Jordin and Blake do surprisingly well with their albums. (The only other finalist we think has a good chance of putting out an album within a year? Melinda.)

What strikes us is just how many mistakes were made. The top 24 could have been better; the themes were uninspired; and frankly we could go on for much longer. Even then, Jordin will make a good winner, and truth be told may even fit the role better than Blake or Melinda ever could. Still, it should be a wake-up call for the Idol powers that be. Things need to change, otherwise Idol will be courting another season to forget next year. You have a lot of goodwill banked up if you’re the most watched show in America, but even those have limits to their patience. They may not all be willing to stomach another subpar season. Our best hope is that the lessons of Season 6 are learned, quickly. There is some room for hope: after the near-disastrous Season Three, the rules were changed – and we believe those changes helped turn Seasons Four and Five into the standouts they are.

We want to like Idol, but it’s been hard to do so this year. Here’s to hoping Season Seven is much, much better.

That’s it for the Idol Guy this year. On behalf of the other members of the Idol writing crew – AJane, MotherSister, Yardgnome – I’d like to thank you, our readers, for staying with all of us through more than four months of this roller-coaster of a season. We hope to see all of you back next year. To borrow a phrase from Idol’s own Ryan Seacrest – Idol Guy, Out!

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The Idol Guy, Finale Week: Thank God It’s Over

Friday, May 25th, 2007

Major league baseball has the World Series. The NFL has the Super Bowl. Reality TV has… the American Idol finale.

Okay, comparing the finale of a reality TV show to major sports events is a bit of a stretch. But there are some similarities. They’re all the culmination of multiple weeks of hype built up by some of the best PR people known to man. They bring out the biggest names in their respective fields. Unfortunately, there’s another thing in common: the event itself is something of a letdown. Look at the Super Bowl: sometimes the halftime show is more entertaining than the game itself.

As far as the actual performances on Tuesday night were concerned, we were left somewhat underwhelmed. Some of it was to be expected; as we said last week the traditional coronation song is never any good, but even with that knowledge we still cringed at just how bad it really was. The replay songs were fairly well done, but they didn’t have the same effect they had the first time around. The new performances were not outstanding, but they were at least reasonable. The final performances reflected the whole season in a way: it was completely, and thoroughly, average. Average a successful singer does not make.

If it weren’t for the “winner’s” song, Blake would have had a so-so night. With it, though, he was pretty bad. You Give Love A Bad Name was classic Blake. The singing was nothing to write home about, but the performance itself was superb. Did it win him any new votes? No, but that was an uphill struggle in any case. We said back then that opinions on this song would be sharply divided; that was even more apparent with this go-around.

As for She Will Be Loved, it was just okay, but it could have been far better. We can’t exactly blame Blake for doing a Maroon 5 song again, but we don’t think doing songs by the same artist that close together is a good idea. That said, the performance should have been a lot better. This should not have taxed his vocals – operative word, should. Even with the limited demands the song placed on his vocals, it was still weak in a few – heck, a lot – of places. We weren’t a fan of the way Blake did this song either; it seemed to us that it was just that slower and more subdued than the original. The difference? Blake turned what should have been a fairly lively song into a rather dull one.

Blake singing This Is My Now was cruel and unusual punishment – both for him and the viewers at home. It wasn’t quite as horrific as You Should Be Dancing, but it was hands-down the most cringe-worthy performance of the night. The song itself was woeful – more on that later – and it fit Blake about as poorly as you could imagine. Blake can be downright awful if he’s forced to rely on his vocals alone; that’s exactly what happened here. Still, given that he would never even touch something like This Is My Now in any other circumstances, we won’t ding that many points from him.

As for Jordin… her reprise performance was good, although Randy went a little bit overboard with his praise. Like Blake, it was more of the same. Fighter was an interesting choice, and in some ways it’s a perfect illustration of everything Jordin is and isn’t. On the bright side, the vocals were pretty good (remember, Jordin can foul up a fast song very badly), but that wasn’t the problem. It’s believability. Anything except sappy, tear-inducing ballads from her just doesn’t work that well. Fighter needs someone who can be edgy; unfortunately Jordin is as edgy as a bowling ball. Well-sung, but completely unbelievable.

Jordin handled the crappy “winner’s” song rather better. Of course, that was to be expected, given that it was right in her comfort zone. Like Fighter, we have no complaints about the vocal. The performance was good, but the song itself was still awful. Jordin was able to ram in more power notes than we cared for, but then again that was probably how it was meant to be sung. Either way, we still weren’t impressed.

How to win American Idol – or, at least, get to the finale: Congratulations go out to Jordin for her victory. It makes for three straight seasons where the winner was never at risk of exiting all season long; we wonder if it’s a streak that will go on for much further.

Both Blake and Jordin did some things right. They were able to separate themselves from the rest of the field fairly early on – Blake right from the top 24, and Jordin a few weeks later. It’s one of the things you really have to do to ensure a good chance of winning – every winner and most of the runner-ups did exactly that in their respective seasons. That’s step one in the path to Idol success.

The other part is more subtle: now that you’ve stood out and separated yourself from everyone else, the key is to build a fanbase. We harp on that fact frequently enough, but there’s no one easy way to do so. For Jordin, it was a mix of her youth, abundant talent, and standout performances like I (Who Have Nothing). For Blake, it was the beatboxing, good looks, and a healthy dash of charisma.

Save for their occasional bouts with disaster (Living on a Prayer, You Should Be Dancing), it was a well-executed run to the top for both of them. The ultimate difference was simple: Jordin could appeal to a broader mass of people since she was not perceived to be a one-trick pony. We acknowledge that Blake is a good performer and has above average music knowledge (his remixes are not exactly child’s play), but he just doesn’t have a very good voice. Take away the beatboxing and Blake is very ordinary, at best.

Of course, the question now becomes, what happens to their debut albums? Jordin’s will be easier to do; she will probably get a mix of fast, upbeat songs and slow power ballads. There’s a good chance that it might sound overly generic and manufactured, but that’s almost traditional. If they pick the right songs for her – i.e., Jordin actually starts to sing songs that a 17-year-old can credibly sing, not, say, emotionally overladen songs like Woman in Love or I (Who Have Nothing) she’ll be fine. Assuming they don’t completely foul up her album (and that includes its release date, it has to be out before the Christmas shopping season), we have a hard time believing it will do anything less than the total numbers for Ruben or Fantasia’s debut albums – which are somewhere between the 1.5 to 2 million mark.

Blake has a more difficult job. He rose to the top on the strength of his performance skills and beatboxing… which may or may not translate well when it’s just audio. Also, because Blake’s uniqueness is part of his appeal, they have to be careful not to produce an overly generic sound, otherwise it could be a failure. (See: Bo Bice.) The best situation may be for Blake to hope Clive Davis concentrates his energies on Jordin’s album, leaving him a freer hand to record his.

The Grammar Police are calling: What in the world was that utter disaster that was the Idol single? Sure, it follows in the long line of trash that started with A Moment Like This, but that’s not an excuse. There’s such a thing in the world called improvement, which the geniuses who pick the singles seem not to be familiar with. I’m half surprised that the people who wrote it actually showed their faces, given how poorly received it was. (To be fair, the lyrics are not as silly as classics like Inside Your Heaven or My Destiny. But only barely.)

Here’s a suggestion: stop insisting that the song has to be on some level about the Idol journey. Good music comes to songwriters from all sorts of inspiration and trying to shoehorn a theme into it usually doesn’t work very well. We’re not sure if the song-writing contest actually made for a better song or not, but in any event we doubt there’ll be any changes in any case. From their point of view, it’s not “broken” – sales are always good – so why bother?

Speaking of cruel and unusual: The two-hour finale was, as far as those go, pretty good. The guest performances were good, all four of the previous winners were even better, and overall it was better than anything we expected. Some parts, however, left a pretty foul taste in the mouth.

First off the bat, this Golden Idol nonsense – and anything like it – has got to stop. An increasing percentage of the bad auditionees are there just for the 15 minutes of TV fame – and the benefits that come with that. A little of it is entertaining as comic relief, but we’re way past that. Why the heck should this kind of behavior be encouraged? Is that the kind of message they really want to send – intentionally act like a complete and utter moron, an embarrassment to humanity, and we’ll give you your 15 minutes?

Of course, it’s another issue if mental illness is involved. We wouldn’t be surprised if it was. If that’s the case, then they’re an attraction the way circus sideshows were many years ago. There are good reasons why those are no longer considered acceptable. If somebody tried to replicate those today, he would be met with nothing but scorn. Why should we treat Idol doing essentially the same thing any differently?

Then of course there’s the replay of You Really Got Me, courtesy of Sanjaya. I’m sure that somewhere JFK, Gandhi, and whoever got mentioned in that montage are rolling over in their graves. We know it’s a joke, but we’re not laughing. We’ve wasted enough space denouncing Sanjaya in this column, so we’ll keep it short. Seeing Sanjaya was not much better than seeing Big Bird back in action. ’nuff said.

The teenyboppers rise: Frequently there’s a trend in one season that carries over to the next. For example, Carrie’s success in Season 4 led to more country singers trying out for Idol, giving us the likes of Kellie Pickler and Bucky Covington last year. Similarly, Bo and Constantine were followed by Chris Daughtry.

The trend to watch for next year is: look for contestants who have younger, more contemporary fanbases to do very well. Both Jordin and Blake had rather young supporters – Jordin because of her age, and Blake because of his image (we called him last week a one-man boy band). No other finale has had someone who so obviously chased the teen/tween age bracket, yet this time both of them did. Earlier in the season, you can also consider Sanjaya’s prolonged survival courtesy of his young voters another bit of evidence.

Conversely, this means that older, more skilled but “throwback” singers will face an uphill climb next season. Taylor’s win last year and Melinda’s run this year may well be critical moments in history: they could be the last time we see contestants with a style that is old-fashioned become really successful. In a way, this is a return to Idol‘s roots: neither would have been allowed to audition had it not been for the raised age limit after Season 3.

The reason for this is simple. The teen audience has become more powerful this year, because text messaging is easier and cheaper than ever before. They’ve always embraced text messaging as a preferred means of communication, but in seasons past cost was a factor because unlimited text messaging was not always common. With widespread unlimited text messaging plans, however, that’s not a problem anymore – and if anything, the technology has become even more common among teens. With teens already having an advantage in other factors (such as, for example, the amount of effort they’re willing to invest to vote), it’s not looking good for anyone much over the age of 20. The 30- or 40-something mother tossing in a few votes for her favorite is being overpowered by her 15-year-old daughter voting for her latest teenage crush using her cell phone for two hours on end, without much in the way of rest.

The flipside is the teen bracket is the likeliest to vote for someone based on reasons that have nothing to do with singing. Let’s face it; everyone’s capacity for musical discernment is not that strong at that age. If the producers really want a good, talented singer to emerge then it becomes important to ensure that the top 24 really is the best talent they can find. You may not be able to expect America – or at least, the Idol voting populace – to “get it right” every time. Then again, however, who decides the top 24? Randy, Paula, and Simon. That’s not a group that inspires confidence, either.

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