Let’s take a cue from another Fox show and do some elementary math. This week’s Idol episode was a standard, one hour show. However, when you take out all the commercials that’s more like 40 minutes or so. To be precise, this week’s episode was just north of 43 minutes. With ten songs this week, that meant that, on average, each song had about 4 minutes and 20 seconds of airtime. That sounds like a lot, but consider all the other fluff before and after the song: rehearsal video and commentary, the commentary from the judges, and Ryan’s awkward pre-singing questions, and suddenly that doesn’t sound like a lot of time anymore. Normally, we’re as annoyed as anyone else by needlessly long episodes – but this was a night that cried out for more time.

On the other hand, though, maybe the shortened time was a blessing in disguise. More time would only have added to the suffering that was the first half of the show. Let’s be blunt: the first five performances, collectively, were some of the worst we’ve ever seen.

Opening proceedings was Jason’s version of Forever in Blue Jeans. Now, we’re not exactly a Neil Diamond fan – we barely know who he is – but we’re sure he wouldn’t sell that many records if his songs were that dull. The harsh truth is, Jason failed to connect with his material. When he can’t do that, his vocals are just not capable of making him interesting. What he did this time around was more of saying the lyrics than actual singing. There’s a world of difference between the two.

As for David Cook’s version of I’m Alive, it was better than the rest of the first half songs, but that’s not saying much. It was a very average performance – the vocals were okay, but the performance itself was not particularly good. If anything, the vibe we got was… forced. At his best, David comes off as a very natural, charismatic individual – a born performer, almost. He wasn’t that this time.

Next up was Brooke’s I’m A Believer. We like her, but on this particular song… no. Just no. This was not her at all; she had no business choosing this song, period. Has she been taking some of Jason’s, uh, stuff? She usually makes smarter song choices than this.

Not that he’s legal to drink anyway, but David Archuleta would be well advised to stay away from New England sports bars. The Idol-watching portions of Red Sox Nation may not look too kindly on his butchering of their unofficial theme song. The millions of people who, throughout the years, have sung Sweet Caroline at various sports events did better than David did.

Surprisingly, our favorite act during the first half was… Syesha. Admittedly, it was a somewhat throwback performance, but save for the occasional power notes the vocal was excellent. However, the whole package just wasn’t compelling. Yes, it was well sung, but it never dragged us in the way good music does. Still, considering the lousy competition, Syesha easily won the first half.

The second half, on the other hand, was a considerable improvement. Where David Cook was forced and unnatural earlier, All I Really Need Is You came off as natural and right from the heart. It’s not quite as original as his other songs, but overall it was still the best performance of the night.

In the next rung below, we have Brooke and Syesha. I Thank The Lord For The Night Time was something of a lightweight song, but it was fun, entertaining, and played to Syesha’s strong acting ability (even if it sometimes felt overdone). Not a bad way to end the night, in our opinion. As for Brooke, it was far, far better than her first version. I Am… I Said played to her strengths vocally, she was able to set the mood, and she delivered it cleanly – no nerves, no messed-up lyrics, no restart.

David Archuleta pulled out a page from the Kristy Lee Cook strategy page with another, ehem, calculated song choice. Again, we’re not American, so it didn’t affect us on an emotional level. While the performance wasn’t bad, there was precious little to like either. Very, very mediocre performance. We do not understand all the praise from the judges for this song – does Daddy Archuleta have blackmail information on all the judges or something?

In the cellar – again – was Jason Castro. We’re sure Neil Diamond was not a well-known singer of lullabies, but that was exactly how September Morn felt. If it had been any longer, we’d have fallen asleep. It’s almost like he’s not even trying anymore; no attempt at emotional connection, or creativity. It’s not much better than reading the lyrics off a page.

How not to act in public: What can we say that hasn’t been said about Paula’s pre-judging on Tuesday night? For someone who’s paid millions of dollars a year to do what any one of us sitting at home could do, Paula should be ashamed and embarrassed for her “judging”. Unfortunately, Paula Abdul is beyond shame and embarrassment.

However, there’s plenty of blame to go around for this week’s disaster. The producers bit off far more than they could chew with the episode. Yes, the first half was terrible, but the second half was actually pretty decent. Unfortunately, any enjoyment was tempered by the assembly line pace of the show. Everything felt rushed and amateurish. (Even the videography was off. What was with the hands blocking Syesha during her first song? Hello? Did anyone not realize that might happen?)

“Amateurish” is the word we’d use to describe Fox executive Mike Darnell. We’re told that apparently, it was his idea to ask how the three judges felt about the first round – and word got out to Ryan Seacrest just as Syesha was singing her first song. Oh. My. God. Mr. Darnell, please. Improvisation is strictly for comedians. Yes, we know it’s live TV, but this isn’t exactly a news event where you have to fly by the seat of your pants every second. A show like Idol can be planned to some degree: the video segments and songs are of known length, and how long the judges and Ryan will talk can be planned for as well.

Last night was unfair to everyone involved: the contestants, the judges, Neil Diamond, and, most importantly, us at home. Most of us, we’re sure, watch Idol to be entertained, and hopefully catch some interesting music along the way. In all respects, the show failed this week. Both the contestants and us at home deserved better than that travesty we received on Tuesday.

A cure worse than the problem: Carly’s exit last week led to a bit of talk around the Idol punditocracy how the current voting system is broken and needs to be changed. This week, however, should give some pause to at least some of the proposals we’ve heard floating around.

In theory, the Idol judging panel should be capable of producing a well-rounded critique of any performance. Randy is a successful producer, Paula did have a decent singing career, and Simon does have a fairly good idea of the commercial potential of any contestant. In between the three, they should be able to address any problems with a performance.

In practice, however, the judging are a nightmare. Paula doesn’t make sense far too often; Randy’s comments are largely well-worn, but meaningless stock phrases (“dawg”, “da bomb”, and “aight” come to mind); and Simon is the closest thing this show has to a decent judge, but he too has a tendency to rely on overblown comparisons (try “cabaret” and “Portuguese nightclub”.) It’s nearly a miracle we get anything useful out of this panel. This is not exactly the judging panel of, say, Dancing with the Stars, which, while sometimes having a tendency to be over-technical, is generally sensible, honest, straight to the point, and good at balancing criticism with encouragement.

The idea of giving more power to this trio is something that has to be considered very carefully. Their track record is not exactly one that can be relied on; if we were on the show we’d take our chances with the public and the hordes of hormone-driven tweens rather than a precognitive Paula Abdul. (An aside: we agree, however, that the show does need an encouraging judge, as Paula is, to balance out Randy and Simon. We just wish, however, that the encouragement was, well, coherent.)

One more proposal that seems to be making the rounds as well is voting for a person to send home, instead of voting to keep someone safe. This would be an even bigger mistake. The trouble is that many otherwise successful singers don’t necessarily have more fans than detractors. In the real world, that’s perfectly fine anyway. The only thing that would result would be “ultra-safe”, non-controversial people doing well. Unfortunately, that is not a formula for success in the real world. Besides, this would make for dull TV as well.

While we’re on the topic of supposed problems hounding Idol, let’s talk about themes. Neil Diamond was considered an “ancient” theme by many pundits, and there have been many cries for more “contemporary” themes, befitting the younger demographic that Idol supposedly aims for.

We agree that Neil Diamond night may not have been the smartest of ideas, but we say: be careful what you wish for. There have been a few episodes with very contemporary themes, but they haven’t all turned out very well. Season Four did the 1990s at Top 10 and 2000s at Top 6, and came out with mixed results. A mixed theme night for Top 5 included songs from the Billboard charts at the time went somewhat better, but couldn’t avoid subpar performances from two out of five people remaining – only above-average performances from Carrie, Bo, and Vonzell saved that half of the show.

Season Five also tried out the 2000s theme, with poor results: only Taylor and Elliott did quite well, with the rest of the night consisting mainly of disasters like Kellie’s Suds In The Bucket and Chris shouting, not singing, What If, or downright mediocre performances. It was, without a doubt, the worst finals episode of that season.

The basic problem with a more “contemporary” theme is that you can’t do the single-artist themes that Idol is so fond of. Most artists that fit that label don’t really have the depth of material to pick from. Consider: most artists today can take anywhere from two to four years to record a new album. How many hit songs can each album produce? Let’s be generous and say four.

Now, what’s the absolute minimum for, say, a top 12 field to actually have some songs to choose from? We know that TPTB gave the top 12 exactly 25 songs to choose from the Lennon-McCartney songbook. So using that as a lower bound, we can see that it’ll take around six albums to get that much material to, realistically, choose from. Assuming a new album every three years, we get… eighteen years of songs from debut onwards. (Coincidentally, Mariah Carey made her debut in 1990.)

This computation, of course, uses something of a “worst case” – single artist night only, but it makes the broader point felt. A “contemporary” theme tends to restrict song choice more than any other. There are many reasons for this (difficulty in getting song clearance, for one), but the end result is the same. TPTB know this, of course, which may offer one reason they don’t do those themes. When they do try, they at least try to broaden the available material – picking “decade” themes, or even using half-baked abortions like “Songs By Gwen Stefani Or Those That Inspired Her” last year.

Our proposed solution? Move away from artist- and era-specific themes to more genre-based ones. Now, this may be a strange suggestion coming from us, but it’s becoming quite clear that nowadays, because the theme is one specific genre no longer means it has to be sung in that genre only. In particular, contestants in the New Idol mold we keep talking about – are excellent at taking a theme and making it fit their own musical direction. No longer does, say, “Country Week” mean every song have to be done like a country song. Contestants are now free, and able, to pick a song from any genre, and turn it into their own in a degree unprecedented before.

The advantage? Genre-based themes have better song selection possibilities. With no restriction based on artist and era, a smart contestant will be able to find something that fits him or her well – something that may be harder with the artist or era themes that are the norm.

The Idol Power Rankings: The last time we saw a final two shape up with this kind of inevitability was Bice-Underwood in Season Four. Strange things can happen, of course, but right now that’s the way things look. These will also be the last Power Rankings of the season; after next week it’ll be obvious who’s heading for the finale, and it’s sort of pointless to rank just three people.

1. David Cook (Last week: 1)
I’m Alive was a mis-step, but his second song made up for it. The kind of consistency David is able to show is remarkable.

2. David Archuleta (Last week: 2)
Two non-ballads… with rather significant quantities of fail. Yes, he’s 16, but that does not excuse the fact that he is the most over-praised contestant in Idol history.

3. Jason Castro (Last week: 3)
Under normal circumstances, Brooke’s exit would help him, but her fans might not take well to the grin he sported while she was saying goodbye. Still, you can’t argue with a fanbase that put him through last week and this week’s dual trainwrecks. That might be what saves him next week.

4. Syesha Mercado (Last week: 5)
Syesha’s appearance in the bottom two must be some sort of record. She’s been in the bottom group five times in a row. How much longer can this last?

Down goes the nanny: Early on, we had Brooke plugged in as a front-runner. Somewhere along the way, though, things went very wrong for her. So what did happen?

Let’s be fair. Brooke did make it to the top five, so she was doing something right. The secret to her success was building a fanbase, and doing it early. She established her musical identity – that of the folk singer/songwriter – very early on, and backed that up with top-notch performances. She got off to what can only be described as an excellent start.

The trouble was, though, after that excellent start she was unable to maintain the pace. From the Top 9 (Jolene) to last week’s You Must Love Me, she delivered a full month of performances that ranged from the bad to the merely okay. Admittedly, some of that damage was due to ill-fitting themes, but most were self-inflicted: a bad case of nerves during Hero, and the infamous false start last week. Whatever the causes, that spelled trouble: you can’t go that long without a genuinely good performance and keep building a fanbase to vote for you. When Brooke was good, she was as good as anyone else. Unfortunately, when she was bad, she was very, very, bad.

In many ways, Brooke’s exit is under the same circumstances as Carly’s last week. I Am… I Said was Brooke at the top of her game, but it was also her last performance. Just like Carly, Brooke’s fans remembered the good performance, and slacked off just a little from the two previous weeks. Again, like Carly, this was a mistake against two energized fanbases – Jason’s (due not just to his weak performances, but also aggravation at Paula’s pre-judging) and Syesha’s (courtesy of Simon’s comments). However, if she had managed to build up a stronger fanbase during that month of coasting, chances are she would have likely survived.

The lesson future contestants must learn: you have to bring your A-game every week. An off week (so long as it’s not in the late stages of the show) will generally not cause permanent damage, but an off month will. Brooke didn’t, which is a pity – we would have loved to see her go further.

And now… the bye-ku.

Nervous, forgetful
Nanny from Arizona
Sent home, short of four

Andrew Lloyd Webber songs are meant to get a powerful emotional reaction out of their listeners – they’re musicals, after all. This week, our top 6 succeeded in getting that from America. However, that may have had more to do with Carly’s exit than anything else. So how did the Idols play with our emotions on Tuesday night?

First of all, a disclaimer: we claim about zero familiarity with the works of Lord Webber. We can imagine the hordes of music fans rushing to their keyboards and getting ready to call us a musical ignoramus. That may well be the case, but the reality is that a lot of people aren’t. Idol geeks are, in many cases, music geeks as well, and those tend to be more aware of Broadway songs than the general population. Here’s something to keep in mind: people who are not aware of the original songs, as we were, will react differently to those who are. It’s true of every night, but because of the theme, that’s even more true than usual.

The two “worst” of the night were Jason and Brooke. We use the term “worst” relatively, however. It wasn’t that bad, given what they were up against. ALW night was always going to be tough on them because the material favors singers with big, powerful voices – something that neither of them have. It wasn’t going to be a smooth night for them, even under best circumstances.

Neither of them helped their causes much, though: Jason’s singing was heartfelt, but breathy. Not his best effort, but we weren’t quite cringing. As for Brooke, while the false start didn’t bother us much, it did for many online pundits. The singing itself, while better than we’ve seen from her of late, wasn’t quite as good as we expected from this stage of the show. It was, as Randy would say, “okay”, but nothing more.

Next on the ladder was David Archuleta. Our reaction to him is rapidly becoming similar to Fantasia’s, which is not a good thing. We see the talent in David, but he leaves us absolutely and completely bored. Hisfangirls kept him safe this week, and probably will for the foreseeable future, but it’s all the same week in, week out. We’re not entertained.

To make up for those three disappointments, we had three very good performances. Syesha learned not to rely on screechy glory notes and called upon her acting skills to produce her best performance to date. The acting was, to us, a bit overdone, but it suited the theme reasonably well. The overall impact, however, was excellent. Well done.

Carly also had a good night, which makes her departure that much more disappointing. Carly sometimes doesn’t look all that natural and at ease on stage, but that was not the case here. She was in command of that stage with both her vocals, stage presence, and, remarkably enough, charisma. It’s a pity she had to go home this week, but more on that later. One more thing: we had to love that T-shirt she pulled out after her performance.

David Cook surprised us a little by going with a relatively straightforward version, but on the whole it worked reasonably well. It was very different from his usual takes, but we enjoyed it, though not as much as Carly or Syesha.

More than one chance to screw up: The top 5 now move into a particularly dangerous territory: multiple songs every week. If we have one piece of advice, it’s this. Better to have one good, showstopper song and one bad or below-average one, than have average songs, even if none of them aretrainwrecks. People will tend to remember the good one, and forget about the bad song, no matter how horrific it is. Katharine McPhee can be considered the perfect example. During the top 4 and top 3 episodes, respectively, she sang Black Horse And The Cherry Tree and Over The Rainbow, two of her best performances all season long. It made up for the rest of her songs during those weeks, which ranged from the average to the dismal.

The Idol Power Rankings: Maybe our contestants should be wary if they’re not in the bottom slot. It seems to be that most of the boots have come from the middle of our rankings, not the cellar. Just remember the Idol Guy 100% Satisfaction Guarantee: All predictions and analysis will satisfy you, or you get your money back. Oh, wait…

Not much change in the charts this week: David Cook is still comfortably ahead of the rest of the field. The other David follows him (not too closely), and the remaining five are… well, it’s a little cramped.

1. David Cook (Last week: 1)
Not only did David Cook navigate through ALW week unscathed, he did so with a straightforward version, proving he’s not just about the re-arrangements.

2. David Archuleta (Last week: 2)
We’re getting sick of ballad after ballad after ballad. Can he do anything else? At the rate things are going, David would find a way to turn the Macarena into a ballad.

3. Jason Castro (Last week: 3)
If singing doesn’t work out, maybe Jason can write a book on how to cope with stress. Has there anyone been more relaxed about his tenure on Idol than Jason?

4. Brooke White (Last week: 5)
Her fanbase has come up big for her whenever she needs it, but that’s a limited commodity. Another mistake will get her sent home.

5. Syesha Mercado (Last week: 6)
Syesha has been in the bottom two or three five times already, and this was the third week in a row she’s been in there. Maybe she should take a page from Kristy Lee Cook and have the Stools of Sorrow labelled.

It’s been that way forever: Both Carly and Michael’s exits were met with more complaints of how the show is no longer about “singing”, but now a mere popularity contest. We’ve become used to hearing something along those lines every year once a talented contestant leaves before their time.

Time for a reality check. The idea of the success of anything being based on pure merit is an alluring one for just about everyone – none more so than America, where it’s deeply embedded into the national psyche (the American Dream, the Protestant work ethic). As an ideal, it’s pretty good. Implementation, however, is tricky, as any engineer worth his salt knows (which, for the record, we are.)

There are many reasons why Idol has never been, and never will be, judged on pure merit alone. How do you define “merit” anyway? The answer: you can’t. Good singing, good music, is not about the glory note, the “pitchiness”, or the power.

It comes down to one fundamental fact: music cannot be judged objectively in any way. There’s more to music than the ability to hit a high note, or perfect enunciation, or any of the technical matters that singing coaches love to cite. You could fulfill every item on a music technician’s checklist – be the most perfect vocalist, but be a failure as a musician. Music, like all art forms, is based on conveying emotions, and that varies infinitely with every individual. One person’s idea of musical heaven might well be another’s nails on chalkboard.

More to the point, people don’t always buy music just because someone’s “tone” or “pitch” is perfect. There are many singers who may not be technically the best – they don’t have the multi-octave rangers, or the ten-second-long glory note – but they are able to connect emotionally with the audience brilliantly. Whether it’s to bring them to tears, or make them laugh, or make the go “wow”, it doesn’t matter. They bring feeling to the music.

Critics use the “popularity contest” meme to denigrate the show, but what they forget is that it’s never been about just the “singing” in the first place. People react to the same song, the same singer, the same arrangement in very different ways. That’s been true since Season One; that’s what people vote on. Yes, it’s a popularity contest, but the Idol voting process measures, within reason, that kind of emotional impact. It’s not perfect – no system is – but it’s better than most of the alternatives we’ve heard. The most horrifying prospect we’ve heard is giving the judges input in the finals. Yes, you could say it’s a “popularity contest”, but it has always been that way.

Yet another shocker that isn’t: What is it with some boots on Idol that people can’t react to them without being incredibly emotional? We’ve done the rounds of the Idol punditocracy, and it seems to be that the universal reaction is one of disbelief, anger, and more calls of how idiotic other people are?

Time for a dose of coffee and sobriety. Carly’s boot is something of a complicated one. A lot of factors came into play: some of them have been hanging around for a while, but some were directly due to what happened this week.

On pure vocals alone, Carly is perhaps the best contestant this season, and maybe even one of the better ones Idol has ever seen in seven seasons. However, her problem has always been difficulty connecting with her material, and this made building afanbase difficult. This was obvious when Carly ended up in the bottom three twice: once deservedly, the other not quite as much.

The other long-term problem that hurt Carly was vote splitting. Her natural genre is rock; however she was never alone in that genre the way Kristy was, andSyesha is. She was always splitting votes with David Cook. This also made her fanbase somewhat smaller that it would have been under other circumstances.

Unlike Kristy, Carly was able to repair the damage to her fanbase early on, but there would always be some after effects. Her fanbase was good enough to get her into the top six, but compared to the others it would always be a little underpowered. Still, her good performance should have gotten her enough votes to stay, right? Wrong. She ran into a classic perfect Idol storm.

One of the paradoxes of this show is that it’s not necessarily the best performances that give you the most votes each week. Sometimes, a bad – or what is perceived to be bad – performance can actually get more votes, thanks to afanbase that has a desire to “save” their favored bet. Brooke’s and Jason’s fanbases got the call this week, and both answered. It helped their causes, too, that both had been built early before fanbases had hardened (as we talked about last week).

It also hurt Carly that her own fanbase had been called upon to “save” her for two straight weeks as well. Their reaction to a good performance was to relax: understandable, but in the face of two energized fanbases a mistake. The result was the votes not being there when Carly needed them. This is not an unusual circumstance: Idol history is replete with cases when a relaxed fanbase sees their champion do well, becomes confident, sleeps on the job, and is shocked by the results. Ask the Melinda Doolittle fans.

What can we learn from Carly’s exit? First, for future AI contestants, you have to be on top of your game early on. You have to be able to impress voters right from the start; you also need to show a clear musical identity relatively early. If you can do that – if you can develop a fanbase early on – then you’ve got some room for error later on. If you can’t do that, then you’ve got no room for any mistakes. To be sure of staying every week, you have to be exceptional every Tuesday night. Even then, however, that strategy has limits.

The other lesson is for AI voters: the word relax shouldn’t really be in your vocabulary, and certainly not with this few people left. For fanboys or fangirls, assume that every week, your bet is at risk. There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about that. For once, Paula’s right. Because the Idol voting base is more diverse than it ever has been before – an offshot of the new Idol we’ve been talking about – each and every contestant has a “ginormous” fanbase.

The same, in a way, holds for the rest of the Idol punditocracy. If they want the “best” to go forward, then it has to vote that way. It’s a bit rich to throw peanuts from the safety of a keyboard, when it’s perfectly possible to at least try and do so.

And now, the much anticipated bye-ku.

Taken by surprise
Carly Smithson, Superstar?
Cannot predict now

There’s a part of us that would like to know if the Idol top 7 was as terrified by Mariah Carey week was we were. Mariah Carey has traditionally been given a wide berth by Idol contestants. The only person to sing a Mariah Carey song in the finals was Kelly Clarkson. The two other attempts to do so took place in the semis. Kelly was the only person to be advanced to the next round by voters; the two others either got a second chance by wildcard or were eliminated that week. (Open Arms does not count, as traditionally it has been more closely associated with Journey than Mariah on Idol.)

Of course, Carey-itis isn’t completely without basis. The trouble with her songs is that more than most songs, they’re built around the strengths and weaknesses of the original artist. Mariah Carey songs are more demonstrations of her range and power than proper music; other singers can only go so far with them. The songs aren’t good enough to survive a good rearrangement, and doing it up front is sure to result in tough comparisons – especially from Randy “I worked with the fantastic Mariah Carey” Jackson.

That said… it wasn’t as bad as we thought it would be. We’ll try to hold off on the “bad song choice” commentary this week, since in normal circumstances this top 7 had as much business singing Mariah Carey as a pyromaniac had inside a fireworks store. Most of the performances we’d classify as only okay, but because it could have been so much worse we’ll take it and breathe a sigh of relief.

Best of the night was David Cook. The theme itself was as difficult as any for David, but even then he upped the danger factor with Always Be My Baby. However, we give him credit: it worked very well. As we said last week, David Cook is the best example of the new Idol, and he proved it by taking a song as remote from his own comfort zone as possible and reworking it into something that fit him superbly. It wasn’t his best performance, but blame that on what he had to work with. All in all, a superb performance.

While David was safely ahead of the rest, there were quite a few performances that sounded good to us. Kristy had to prove that last week was not a fluke, and she mostly did. The most noteworthy thing about Forever is it’s probably the least countrified song Kristy’s done in a while, and that’s mostly due to her voice (which Kristy can’t do anything about). This was a very pleasant surprise, to be honest The worst thing that can be said is that her voice sounded strained at times when reaching for the power, but otherwise it was excellent. Unlike some of the others this week, she actually managed to connect with the song emotionally. For the second week in a row, Kristy was the best of the girls. Who knew that was even possible?

Jason’s approach to Mariah was somewhat predictable, but fairly well done. It won’t win over new fans, but give Jason credit: he did make the song his own. Take that for all it’s worth: good emotional connection, but vocals that aren’t anywhere as good as the rest of the field. All things considered, we liked it – not great, but pretty good.

As for the rest of the field, the word we’d use is “decent”. To their credit, they avoided producing any obvious trainwrecks; however we’re not exactly looking for these videos on Youtube for a replay.

Regular readers may recall that we half-seriously suggested When You Believe a few weeks ago – but for Syesha, not David Archuleta. As far as a David A. ballad goes, this wasn’t impressive. His ending was rough, and the rest of the song was the same old Archuleta we’ve seen before. When You Believe has an “epic” feel to it, and it just didn’t work. The only really “new” thing here is the wardrobe, and to be honest it looked strange. Randy is completely wrong: David can sing, but he can’t sing everything. This was not as good as the judges said it was.

If Carly was hurt by not being vulnerable, Brooke was at the opposite extreme. Brooke went beyond “vulnerable” territory and looked (and sounded) completely nervous. Singing with her mouth so close to the microphone was not the smartest idea either. Brooke is good enough that so long as she doesn’t stray too far from her roots she usually sounds okay, but she was barely in that territory this week. The basic concept was sound, but she executed it poorly. She needs a good kick up the rear to wake her up; if one bottom three appearance won’t do that a second one might do the trick.

The one person in this competition who has the power to take on a Mariah song at full tilt is Carly, and she gave it her best shot with Without You. Our take on it is mixed, to say the least. On pure technicals alone, it was good; Carly hit the power notes without sounding like she was shouting, and the rest of the song was quite respectable. However, emotionally, it just didn’t have the impact the original has. Why? There was no sense of vulnerability or sadness in her performance; and to pull this song off you need to express either of those things. Brilliant vocal, but the impact just was not there.

Apparently Syesha did not get our memo a while back that winning Idol is not about the ability to hold notes and/or syllables for the longest time possible. We thoroughly disliked this performance; all we heard was a series of loud screeching noises. Syesha is barely pretending to be a well-rounded musician; her act is all about the glory note. There is precious little else to her act, and while that may well win plaudits from the judges, it won’t from this corner.

All in all, it was something of a ho-hum night, but it wasn’t the worst of the season. Considering the theme, that’s probably as much as we viewers could get away with this week.

All this has happened before, and all of it will happen again: Long-time readers will note that many times, we point out that something that happened in a particular week has parallels in previous seasons. Of late, we’ve noticed striking parallels between this season and what has come to be one of the best-regarded seasons: Season Five.

First similarity: at the top end, they both had very talented and diverse contestants. Season Five had the top four of Taylor/Katharine/Elliott/Chris; as talented and diverse a mix of contestants you’ll find in any season. This season is similarly diverse; the remaining six contestants are all quite different from each other and have all had good, well-regarded performances. The one area where this season does not stack up as well is consistency; the Season Five foursome (with the exception of Katharine) were generally quite good at producing consistently above-average songs., something that has largely eluded our current group (excepting David Cook, and even he had Innocent).

The other similarity might come from the status of the eventual “winner”, and the respective levels of post-show success. One reason for Taylor’s lack of success was because the other finalists in his season received levels of promotion that were unusual for their eventual placings. Even the Idol machine has limited resources, and some of the time and effort that went into the other contestants would have gone to the winner in other circumstances. The same thing is probably going to happen this season, though for a different reason – in all likelihood TPTB will be happy with the winner of this season, unlike Season Five.

Let’s break down what this means for most of the field, particularly post-Idol. David Cook is still better off winning than not winning, but on the other hand it’s not essential for him either. Anyone with a brain can recognize the potential gold mine in David; win or not he’ll be signed and probably have a new album out this time next year. There’s no downside to winning, however, so David should still try to win, even if it’s only icing on the cake. Being an Idol winner in itself may not be worth as much as it used to, but it still helps.

David Archuleta is in a similar situation. It’s no secret that the Idol PTB are chasing the teen/tween market that’s sold millions courtesy of Miley Cyrus. Our inner music critic has something to say about that genre in particular (nothing positive), but that’s for another day. He, too, will have his album out, though we’re much more skeptical about his long-term success.

The two people who need to win to have a good shot at a music career are Carly and Syesha. Neither are sure bets to succeed. To have any realistic chance, they need the title. Carly actually has a chance if David the Younger falters, but we can’t say the same for Syesha. Failing that, both might not even get signed post-show.

Their futures on the show may not be all that bright, but Jason and Brooke are slightly better off. Both actually have a decent shot of being signed post-Idol, though expectations there will be far more limited. They’re both unique and talented enough that with the right material, they could do surprisingly well. The ideal here would be Kellie Pickler – Small Town Girl has sold about 750,000 copies last we checked. If Kellie Pickler could do that… it’s not unreasonable to think that other contestants just as unique and even more talented can sell decently as well. Maybe not the platinum-level success that the two Davids are capable of, but success at any rate.

The Idol Power Rankings: David Cook’s successful navigation of Mariah Carey week keeps him atop this week’s charts. It’s a long way down to the next group of four – Brooke, Carly, Jason, and David Archuleta. Not much separates those four. They’re all capable of doing brilliantly, but of late they’ve been putting out some woeful performances. Kristy’s exit leaves Syesha all alone at the bottom of the rankings, with little sign of improvement.

1. David Cook (Last week: 1)
David Cook’s biggest problems may well be the themes, not the rest of the field. However, if a rocker can handle Mariah Carey so deftly, then Andrew Lloyd Webber and Neil Diamond shouldn’t be much of a problem.

2. David Archuleta (Last week: 3)
We’re not his biggest fans, but as things stand David Archuleta should make it to the finale. He should not rest easy, however: the rest of the field has not been at there best of late; a resurgence could easily create trouble for him.

3. Jason Castro (Last week: 4)
The good: except for Fragile Jason has delivered a string of solid-to-good performances since the top 12. The bad: up against much stronger vocals, Jason really needs to deliver an unquestioned showstopper to have a chance of getting into the finale. Over The Rainbow was too much of a hate-it-or-love-it song. In short, Jason needs a second Hallelujah.

4. Carly Smithson (Last week: 5)
Enough voters liked Without You to keep Carly out of the woods this week. However, her long-term prognosis is still bleak. She has brilliant vocals, but so far has not really delivered much of an emotional impact with them. It may be too late for her to figure out how.

5. Brooke White (Last week: 2)
Brooke’s future is on a knife edge. She’s capable of being very good, but she’s been on something of a month-long slump. It’s a classic case of shape up or ship out: a good performance now will go a long way; but anything else will get her sent home.

6. Syesha Mercado (Last week: 7)
If we’re looking for a singer capable of breaking a glass with her voice, Syesha just might be the person we’re looking for. But for singing we’d actually listen to… no.

We sentence you to: We’re tempted to find the nearest airlock and toss whoever came up with the current themes out of it. Mariah Carey, Andrew Lloyd Webber, and Neil Diamond may well be the worst one-two-three combination of themes in recent Idol history. We’ve laid out why we didn’t like this theme, so let’s move on to the rest. ALW week is a dismal theme in its own right; it’s even more limited than Mariah’s material, and for what it’s worth it was meant to be recorded and performed on its own merits. In Broadway, the song is subordinate to the show; how is this going to result in good music? Neil Diamond… before our time, frankly. We don’t know what to expect, but we’re not holding our breath.

Out of town before sundown: Kristy’s been on the receiving end of the most fire from Idol pundits of all this season’s contestants, including quite a few comparisons to the unmissed Sanjaya Malakar. However, she was definitely on the upswing, and based on this episode alone she probably didn’t deserve to go home.

Analyzing Kristy’s exit has to be done in two steps. Kristy’s survival up to the point where she started getting better is an intriguing point of analysis by itself. The other half is how come she left when she was on the upswing; you can argue that she was even in the better half this week. The answer to both questions is the same: the strength of her fan base.

Early on, Kristy had a strong fan base because she was the only country singer left. Being the only singer in a genre is no guarantee of success, but it doesn’t hurt either. Once in the finals, the strength of that base was tested quickly with Beatles week, and managed to keep Kristy safe, but not out of the bottom three.

However, God Bless the USA kicked four okay-to-good performances which, considering her early form, was an achievement. It should have helped her, but it didn’t: instead she went out practically at her peak. Why could the same fanbase that kept her through Eight Days a Week not help her out after Forever?

The answer lies in the mentality of the Idol voting audience. Fundamentally, voters are more open in the early stages of the show: the semi-finals and the earliest shows of the finals. Beyond that, the fan bases have mostly hardened and it’s that much harder to win new fans over. For Kristy, this was a problem: her performances during the formative period were dreadful; and for many voters her “trademark” songs were during the Beatles weeks. She didn’t get enough credit for what she’s done lately, because the power voters had made up their minds, and she wasn’t good enough to win over that many independent voters not affiliated with any particular contestant.

Fundamentally, she handicapped herself because she left such a bad early impression. Even when she did get better, it wasn’t nearly enough to offset the earlier damage. She did win over some new voters – enough to keep her in a few weeks, but not enough to save her. This was probably as far as she could have gone – she was up against six other contestants who had mostly established their bases early on. It was a big hurdle to overcome – too big, as it turned out.

To close things out, it’s our bye-ku.

Look! A country girl!
Bad at the start, got better
But not quite enough

The theme this week, to fit in with the whole Idol Gives Back week, was supposed to be “inspirational” songs. Unfortunately, the only thing it inspired us to do was nap and put off writing this article. It was perhaps the most lifeless episode we’ve seen so far this season, with singing that ranged from the just slightly above average, a few more that were okay, but a few total trainwrecks.

There were only two good performances of the night, both of which could be classified as controversial. The version of Over the Rainbow Jason did by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole was familiar to us, though for unusual reasons: a local radio show uses it as their theme song. With that in mind, we thought this was Jason Castro at his purest – with all the strengths and weaknesses of such. On the good side, he can connect with the emotions of a song better than anyone else. However, it also showed his primary weakness: his vocals aren’t all that strong, which is probably why there’s a sizable contingent of people who out and out hated it. Still, for us it was a definite highlight of the night – and given how few of those there were we’ll take it.

The other highlight can be called controversial because of who delivered it. Yes, that makes it three straight weeks without a trainwreck – and, to be fair, this was actually a good performance, the first time we can apply that tag to her. The past two weeks may have given her an invaluable commodity: confidence. She made a good song choice, and sang it reasonably well. The only downside to the performance was the inevitable comparison to the Martina McBride original done on Idol last year by Martina herself, but Kristy did enough to avoid the karaoke comparison.

After those two, you have three performances that we’d describe as okay. Normally, we’d talk about each performance in detail, but not this week, because they were all the same in the essentials: reasonably well sung, song choice was okay – not bad, not exceptional, but okay. The key element was, however, they were all unexciting and frightfully dull. The three not even worthy of getting a long mention are: Michael, Brooke, and David Archuleta. They couldn’t even inspire us to write anything longer about them!

And so we have three people left that stayed right in the basement. Syesha… what was she thinking? No one has done well picking an Idol winner’s song. Lisa Tucker got the boot after singing Kelly Clarkson, while Lakisha managed to survive butchering both Carrie Underwood and Fantasia, but picked up two bottom three spots along the way. This was the dumbest song choice we’ve seen this season – which, considering Ramiele’s efforts in that direction, is saying something. Also, why would you even want to touch any of the winners songs with a ten-foot pole? They’re all intolerable pieces of musical rubbish that are best forgotten.

Neither David Cook nor Carly did themselves any favors song choice either. We’re not into following the themes that closely, but there is something to be said about picking an “angry” song on an “inspirational” night. Indulgent, anyone? As for David… every one is entitled to one off night. Even front-runners. Nothing about it made sense: the outfit was too over-the-top, we could barely understand what he was singing, and that gesture with the hand? That was a cheese moment worthy of the other David.

All in all, it was a very bland episode. Save for Jason and Kristy, no one really seemed to be putting their whole effort into the performances. Maybe it was because Idol Gives Back, mostly taped over the weekend, had cut into both their energy and preparation time. Either way, the word we’d describe the show is lazy. It’s almost like some realized, at the last minute, that they actually had to do a real show this week and not just Idol Gives Back. Whatever the case, it was an utterly forgettable night of music.

The new American Idol: We promised last week that we’d talk about how, in effect, the rules for Idol have changed. Traditionally, to be successful almost all Idol pundits have believed that a contestant had to be capable of singing multiple genres. This gave us priceless sounds like Fantasia trying to do Gloria Estefan and Queen, just to mention one of many combinations of theme and singer that went poorly.

That was then. However, things have changed since the early days of Idol. In many ways, in fact, the rules have changed so much, one might be tempted to say we’re in a “new” American Idol. Like many trends, however, this has been building up for quite a few seasons to come. A short history lesson would be in order.

Back in the first few seasons, Idol could be described as the Great American Karaoke Contest. To be fair, most so-called singing competitions are just that. It was hardly unique to Idol. The hallmarks of talent in such contests really favor straight power singers. Consider the much maligned Season 3. Set aside the trio of Fantasia, LaToya London, and Jennifer Hudson. The rest of the field weren’t all that varied either: Diana DeGarmo and Jasmine Trias were also in the same broad variety, albeit a slightly different flavor than what ultimately won.

As anyone with any appreciation of Idol history knows, Season Three was not exactly a stunning success. To their credit, TPTB made changes. The most important one was the age limit, which got raised from 26 to 28. The idea was probably to bring in more experienced singers to serve as a counterweight to the younger, power-note singers that had been prominent in seasons past.

The end result of that age limit – and the increasing allure of more than 25 million viewers to any musician – was, for the first time, to produce contestants that seemed to have an inkling of what they wanted to do musically. The top two was a good example of this. All season long, you knew that Carrie Underwood was a country singer; there was no mistaking that fact. Then, of course, you had Bo Bice.

Even within the confines of Idol then – which didn’t offer contestants the kind of latitude they have now – Bo Bice managed to show that he was an exceptionally well-rounded musician. Good song choices, arrangements that highlighted his strengths, and, like Carrie, you knew right off the bat what kind of musician Bo was. In a very real way, Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood both redefined what it meant to be an Idol contestant.

The trend continued into Season Five, helped out by an album by the name of Breakaway. If Bo and Carrie proved that you could be a good singer on the show, Kelly’s sophomore album showed that finalists could also break out of the Idol mold post-show and sell millions of records along the way. The end result was perhaps the most well-regarded final four in Idol history. To us, it produced two more stepping stones along the route to the New Idol. Taylor did not have the most powerful voice, but made the most of what he did have: a sense of showmanship unrivaled before (or since then) and smart song selection. Like Carrie, Chris knew exactly what direction he wanted to take, and his choice reflected that very well.

Thanks to the most inept manipulation in Idol history, Season Six was a step back in many ways. It gave us a winner who was a throwback to the old Idol: Jordin Sparks. However, it did give us one more person on the road to the New Idol: Blake Lewis. Early on, he established his style (the most important part of the new Idol). He also managed to make the themes work for him in a way that was completely unprecedented. Just like Taylor, Blake made the best of what he did have: in his case, it was a willingness to take risks that would not have worked for anyone else, but did for him.

Perhaps the best summary of the change to the new Idol regime was made at the end of the season by FORT’s dpiranha at the end of the last season.

Whether Simon and Nigel care to admit it, after the entertainingly bad auditions are over, AI is no longer treated by the viewers as a Reality TV show. It has become a legitimate singing competition, and (especially after the excellence of AI5) America is demanding a level playing field and first-rate talent every Tuesday night. Either deliver on this demand, or a rival show will deliver it for you.

In a nutshell, that’s the biggest difference between the old Idol and the new Idol. In the early days, it was easy to regard Idol as a glorified talent show, with limited chances of actually succeeding in the real world, and the voting audience reflected that. However, along the way we got people who went far and beyond the usual confines of a cheesy TV show. Once the audience had been exposed to well-rounded musicians, there was no going back.

Strategically, what this means is that the traditional requirement of being able to sing multiple genres well is now largely obsolete. Singing many genres does not help project an image of a “well-rounded” singer; instead it generally results in a confused image. Instead, what’s more important is to pick your genre or overall feel, and perform well within it. Once again, this is “musical identity” at work. This can be distilled into question: do the public know what kind of album you will release? If yes, well done, your identity is established. If no, you are in serious trouble, and a session with the prayer beads would be in order.

Let’s be clear: this is not a license to sound the same week in, week out. What is important, though, is that your progression make sense. You can’t be a soulful balladeer one week and a disco queen the next. Take David Cook: there’s no mistaking he’s a rock singer, but his arrangements are different enough from week to week that it’s interesting to listen to.

More broadly, the evolution of the old Idol to new is just Idol reflecting the real-life music industry more closely. Not everyone has a Celine/Whitney/Mariah power voice; there are plenty of singers who have sold records without having the big, booming voice that Idol has favored in the past. There’s more than path to good music; and under the new Idol rules the same is true for winning.

Of the seven remaining contestants, you can say that at least three are products of the new Idol: David Cook, Brooke White, and Jason Castro. They’ve all established what kind of music they are about. Brooke and Jason, in particular, would never have gotten far under the old rules: neither has truly powerful vocals. They’ve made their way using their uniqueness, good song selection, and emotional connection.

The prime example in this season of the new Idol, however, is David Cook. He has a good voice, but that’s not what has powered him to front-runner status from out of nowhere. His dismal performance this week aside, he’s usually able to pick good songs and arrangements week in and week out. He’s established himself as a clear, undisputed front-runner – something that eluded Chris Daughtry. David is as well-rounded a musician as any we’ve seen on the show to date.

What about the rest? Syesha is pretty old-school; she would have been perfectly at home in previous seasons. That severely limits her appeal right now, however. Carly is just plain confused; she can’t decide if she’s a rocker or not. Kristy has established her niche, but she’s hasn’t shown any particular uniqueness and creativity.

And then we come to David Archuleta. He would have been perfect on the old Idol. Good vocal talent, check. Backstory? Check. Likable? Check. If you took a robot and programmed him with what you thought was every desirable characteristic for an Idol winner, David would be it. One could call him Number Twelve and not be too far off.

However, that was the old Idol. The old rules don’t quite apply. If he had a strategy going in of using safe “message” ballads going in, it’s not working – but it’s too late to change it anyway. David may have a good-sized fanbase, but he’s not winning over new fans, which is essential to succeed – particularly with no one else (except David Cook) being particularly outstanding. David’s stuck to his genre, but too much: every ballad he does is the same, and every non-ballad is just plain bad. On talent alone, David will go far – but he’ll fall short of the finale, demonstrating that the old rules – which many pundits still believe apply – have been swept aside.

No we’re not cynical! Just… realistic: Idol Gives Back made its re-appearance this year, and we can probably say it’ll be a regular fixture for seasons to come.

We’ll give credit where credit is due. Last year, we criticized the Idol publicity machine for patting itself on the back a little too much and not giving enough credit where it was due. To be fair, they have done a much better job of directly crediting the viewers at home, who deserve most of the credit for the success of IGB. Also, pre-empting the grumbling that was bound to come in, a separate foundation has also been set up, something that, as far as we know, did not happen last year. This means that, like every other reputable charity in America, IGB will have to have transparency in its finances, as mandated by US law. Well done on both counts.

Normally, we don’t get partisan here. Good singing, after all, is neither liberal nor conservative. Unfortunately, though, “giving back” is not as simple as one would think. We will get a bit… political here. We’re bringing out the soapbox. If this offends you, scroll down, and we’ll pretend this never existed. However, if you want to know why we’ve been uneasy with the concept from the beginning, read on.

Idol Gives Back doesn’t really undertake any independent projects on its own. Instead, it donates money to other reputable charities. Idol lists all of these charities on their website. The main beneficiaries, as far as international giving is concerned, are The Global Fund and Malaria No More.

What’s missing? One word: corruption. Africa undoubtedly suffers from diseases like AIDS, malaria, and tuberculosis, but next to bad government it’s chicken feed. Most of Africa is ruled by governments that are either inept, corrupt, or both. Bad governance is an even bigger problem than any disease in Africa, but how much is Idol spending for this? Nothing, as far as we can tell. Not one cent.

If you don’t believe us, look at the numbers. In 2004, the African Union estimated that losses from corruption totaled $148 billion. That’s not since some arbitrary date – that is an annual number. Let’s put that in context. All government-sponsored aid to Africa from the thirty members of the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), made up almost exclusively of the world’s richest countries, totaled $43.4 billion in 2006. Aid from private sources in the United States came to $33.5 billion in 2005 – and that’s for the whole world, not just Africa. No matter how you slice it, all the charity money in the world can’t make up for what’s being lost to bad governance. Yet how much is going to stop corruption. Nothing. Nada. Zero.

Of course, IGB is hardly alone in this. There are no rock stars saying we must “end corruption now”. All of the attention – and most of the money – is going to the highly visible problems. Why? The answer takes us to the heart of what is wrong with the giving in the world today.

To raise money, charities today play on the emotions of would-be donors. We’ve all seen the videos of suffering this week, and who wouldn’t be moved to act? By itself, this isn’t a bad thing at all. There’s no doubt that there are serious problems with poverty and disease around the world; awareness is the first step towards solving the problem.

However, sooner or later logic has to be brought in. Resources are limited: there’s only so much money, personnel, and time to go around. Without logic, the allocation of resources depends on emotional reaction, which results in inefficiency. Yes, people are helped, but not as many as could be ideal. Yet that’s exactly where we are in charity giving: the most successful charities are those capable of engaging the public. For example, Bono has been very successful in highlighting African poverty, and as such aid money to Africa has increased, paying particular attention to AIDS. Other foundations have done the same for other diseases like malaria.

The obvious, instinctive, reaction to seeing suffering is simple: how can we help? And that’s fine. However, someone has to ask the question – why are they suffering in the first place? The answers are usually even more depressing than the actual problem. It could be because the money supposed to pay for basic health care paid for kickbacks and bribes to some government bureaucrat, ending up in some Swiss bank account. It could be because the head of the local hospital isn’t so much a good doctor, but more the relative of a powerful politician. It could be because the health minister is in denial about what causes AIDS in the first place. In far too many cases, the deeper causes can all be blamed on bad governance.

We’re not saying that spending money to fight disease in Africa is bad, or that people who give money to such causes are wasting their money. All we’re saying is when you’ve got more than $100 million to give away – as IGB probably will – would it really hurt to give some money to trying to fix the underlying problem? Otherwise, chances are we’d still be raising money for Africa 50 years from now. Now that would be a real tragedy.

We get letters: We asked for letters, and we got them. Keep sending them in, though: we’ll be more than happy to answer them all season long. First question is Cathy, via e-mail. She asks:

First: why does everyone treat Archie’s “Imagine” as so spectacular when it is one of the songs he sang on Star Search, and I’m sure many other times, so he, at least, was very familiar with at least one Beatles tune.

Secondly, I read that Brooke had previously put out an Indie album, but no mention of that or accusations of “plant”.

Easy one first. Yes, Brooke did put out an independent album, but that’s not terribly unusual anymore. Many previous contestants have had indie albums released, or deals with some minor label, or some other behavior that, if you think about it, rules them out as pure amateurs. This is nothing new, and it doesn’t bother us at all. The only reason that the “plant” noise has been louder this year is you do have, for the first time, contestants that were signed to major record labels: Carly to MCA, Michael to Maverick. That still doesn’t bother us, but it is different from what’s happened before.

Now, David Archuleta’s Imagine. The bit about him doing it on Star Search is news to us, but had people known about that we doubt it would have changed any minds. David is probably not the first Idol contestant to pick a familiar song; Carly has admitted to doing just that this season. We’re not bothered by this revelation either: if a singer is already familiar with a song, and picks it so he can focus on other parts of his performance, good luck to him.

The question you can ask about that song is: several weeks after first hearing it, does it sound as good now as it did then? In short, has it stood the test of time? To be honest, we’re not sure. The vocals are as good now as they were then, but the song selection… not so much. Maybe because it was the first of the safe “message” songs that he’s chosen since then, but whatever the reason the whole performance does not seem as natural now as it did then.

By PM, famita asks:

who is your favorite contestant for all seasons?

Keep in mind, this takes into consideration what she’s done post-Idol, not just the show itself: Carrie Underwood. Clichéd answer? Maybe, but it’s the truth.

The Idol Power Rankings: Courtesy of Carly’s second bottom three stint and and Michael Johns’s exit the charts got a good shakeout this week. Here go the rankings:

1. David Cook (Last week: 1)
David should look at this week as a test of his fanbase. With a performance as bad as his was this week, his fan base is strong enough to keep him out of serious trouble. Next test: Mariah Carey week. This could get interesting real soon for David.

2. Brooke White (Last week: 3)
She moves up the chart largely because Carly stumbled pretty badly, we remain skeptical about David Archuleta, and Jason Castro’s vocals are too weak. However, of late she’s turned in a series of competent, but not outstanding, performances. We thought her bottom three stint would energize her, but it didn’t. Like David, Mariah week will be interesting for her.

3. David Archuleta (Last week: 5)
This is the highest we’ve ever had David up, but like Brooke it’s more because of our doubts about the rest. The theme should help him, but can he win over new fans?

4. Jason Castro (Last week: 6)
Over the Rainbow was just the shot in the arm Jason needed. However, the question for Jason is: what’s the next step? With vote-splitting with Brooke likely to come into play, a good followup would be useful – something Jason has struggled with before.

5. Carly Smithson (Last week: 2)
Carly should be worried. Very worried. Her fanbase knew she was in trouble, presumably voted like mad, but not strong enough to keep her out of trouble. This is not the sign of an Idol winner.

6. Kristy Lee Cook (Last week: 8 )
Kristy is still in the basement, but things aren’t as bleak as they were last week. If she can put together another Anyway-caliber performance and those in front of her stumble, given the known strength of the country voting block, she can go a lot further than most people suspect.

7. Syesha Mercado (Last week: 7)
Just when we thought she was no longer Screamesha, she takes on Fantasia. Oh joy. If she actually wins this whole thing, we’ll eat our shoe.

Frak, frak, frak!: One could hear the screams of anguish and howls of outrage from the Idol pundit class as Michael Johns was announced as this week’s boot. These were also punctuated with claims of rigging, cries of how Idol has jumped the shark, and promises never to watch the show again. We wish we could say this surprised us, but it didn’t.

Here’s the reality check. There’s frequently a “surprising” boot right around this time. The two good examples are Nadia Turner and Mandisa, who left at Top 8 and Top 9, respectively. The reaction back then was pretty similar too, but just as unneeded: there were good reasons for their exits, just as there are now for Michael.

Michael’s key failing was simple: he never established a clear musical identity. Yes, he was a good singer, but what kind of musical direction would he take post-Idol? Michael was a good singer, yes, but that’s not enough anymore. More than singing well, he had to sing uniquely, and he never did. Instead, he had a tendency to turn songs into flavorless, generic songs that weren’t bad, but couldn’t be described as memorable. There was nothing in his performances that could make you point and say “that’s Michael, right there.”

Even when Michael was good, he showed little artistic continuity. Consider his last two performances: the Queen medley two weeks ago, and his blues-ed up Dolly Parton song last week. Both good, but one would be hardly pressed to recognize them as coming from the same singer. Michael failed to appreciate that the rules are different: it’s no longer enough to just sing well in a given week. Michael was good, but not good enough to get votes just for sheer talent (the way Melinda did) and not unique enough to rally many people to his side. Michael’s fanbase was frightfully weak: and when Kristy upped her game enough to put herself out of danger, Michael didn’t have a safety cushion any more. Case closed.

And now, time for the bye-ku.

Too little too late
Queen? Yes. Everything else? Nope.
Back to the outback